


The "L" Word

by thatwriterlady



Category: Supernatural, destiel - Fandom
Genre: F/F, Gay Male Character, Original Character Death(s), Sexual Content
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-12-01
Updated: 2014-12-01
Packaged: 2018-02-27 19:16:29
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, Major Character Death
Chapters: 11
Words: 33,961
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2703428
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/thatwriterlady/pseuds/thatwriterlady
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Dean Winchester- Hunter, brother, unfailingly human, beautiful in his flaws, though he doesn't see it.  Faced with the realization that he is falling for a certain blue eyed angel he decides it's time to tell Cas how he really feels, but does the angel feel the same way back?  There are risks that come with sharing your heart, and when a new threat looms Dean realizes exactly what he stands to lose.  Will it destroy him or will he triumph?  Read and enjoy.  This is the version I couldn't post on Wattpad due to the sex scene I added in.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. The Family Business

Hunting. The family business. How many times had Dean heard that over the years? How many times had he said it himself? After a while the words felt tired, holding less and less meaning as the years wore on. He looked across the shabby motel room at his brother Sam sitting at the too small kitchenette table, long legs stretched out underneath it making it impossible for Dean to join him. It was like trying to sit with a giraffe, his brothers legs were so long. Almost since the internet had become publicly available Sam had had his face in front of a computer screen, either researching or studying. Now he was busy researching a possible case that had come their way thanks to their good friend Jody Mills. Covington Indiana, some hole in the wall small town in the middle of nowhere had suddenly experienced six missing persons cases in the last three months. For a town that was likely to see that happen once every ten years this was a startlingly high number and it caught Jody's attention. She passed the info along to her boys (she thought of them now as the sons she never knew she had wanted until they became a part of her life) and told them to be careful. Dean looked down at the folder sitting next to him on the bed. He knew he should open it, study the police report, look at the pictures of the missing girls, but he wasn't in the mood tonight. More and more often his life just felt empty. His family had dwindled down so much over the years, always back to just him and Sam. Why did he care so much about others? Kevin's death still weighed heavily on him, though he didn't dare bring the subject up with Sam. Sam's own guilt over Kevin's murder was a heavy burden that he could not rid himself off, and Dean did not want his baby brother spiraling down into the same depression that he could feel himself slipping into. He picked up his phone, hitting the home button, hoping he had missed a call. Hoping that someone, anyone had called and that he would have someone to call back, but the screen was empty. Who was going to call him nowadays? Everyone he cared about was dead, save for Sam, Charlie, and Jody. And Cas... Almost as though his angel radar was still fully functional and he could sense Dean thinking about him, Dean's phone began to ring. Dean looked at the screen and smiled. "Who's that?" Sam asked, watching as Dean put the phone to his ear. "Hey Cas." Dean said, grinning. "Hello Dean, how are you?" "Better now that you called. I'm bored shitless." Dean replied. Sam was staring at him, one eyebrow raised. Dean gave him the middle finger and Sam rolled his eyes before returning his attention to the laptop once again. "Where are you?" Cas asked. "Covington Indiana. Smells like barbecue and horse manure everywhere you go." Dean joked. "That would not smell very good." Cas, always so serious. All these years and still he rarely realized when Dean was joking. "Yeah, well, where are you?" Dean asked. "Michigan. I was following a report of a murder that sounded like it was committed by one of my angel brethren. It wasn't though." Dean couldn't tell if Cas was relieved or disappointed by that fact. "Well, the murder is bad, but at least the angels aren't doing anything bad." Dean tried to see the silver lining. Cas merely grunted an agreement. "So where are you headed next?" Dean asked. Cas was quiet for a moment, something he had a habit of doing. "I was hoping I could come see you. And Sam." He finally said. Dean dared to feel a twinge of excitement. He swung his legs off the bed and stood up. Sam watched him cross the room and open the door, stepping out into the balmy summer night. Dean knew when Sam was eavesdropping and he hated it. Even though he was overly warm in his flannel shirt and jeans it was nice to know his brother couldn't hear his conversation. "That would be great Cas. We could definitely use some help on this case." "What are you working on?" Cas asked. "A string of missing persons cases. Six young women have disappeared in the last three months." Dean replied. Another grunt from Cas. "Do you think it's vampires?" He asked. "Not sure yet. Sam and I just rolled into town about two hours ago and I'm too tired to go looking for monsters tonight." Dean sighed. A pause from Cas. "I miss you." Well that was unexpected. "I...miss you too Cas." Dean felt a little awkward saying it, though he realized it was the truth. He missed the goofy angel. "I will drive down tonight. I can be there by morning. What motel are you at?" Cas asked. Dean gave him the address and room number. Knowing Cas he would drive straight here and show up at some point in the middle of the night. "I'll see you soon buddy." Dean told him before hanging up. He slipped the phone into his pocket and debated on whether he wanted to go back in the room. It was only seven, too early to go to sleep and his stomach was starting to grumble. They had come straight to the motel without stopping to grab food and now it was catching up with him. Across the street there was a diner that looked almost as shabby as this motel, but food was food. Looking both ways to make sure he didn't get run over in the parking lot Dean walked to the diner and went inside. It smelled of grease and floor wax. It smelled good. A waitress motioned toward the nearly empty diner indicating that he could sit wherever he liked. He opted for one of the red stools at the counter. He had barely sat down before a plump lady with nearly snow white hair piled up high on her head appeared in front of him. She was dressed in a bubble gum pink uniform that looked like it was straining to hold all of her in. The smile on her face was bright and he couldn't help but smile back. "What can I get for ya sugar?" She asked. Dean was always amazed at how strong the accent was up here in Indiana. He thought being this far north of the Mason Dixon line would have meant no southern accent, but it seemed everyone he encountered had a pleasant little twang when they spoke. "Give me a burger. Add bacon." He said. As an afterthought he asked for fries and a milkshake since they didn't sell beer. The waitress, whose nametag said Shirley returned with a glass of ice water and set it front of him before going to make his milkshake. As Dean picked up the glass to take a sip he became aware of a presence next to him. He didn't bother to turn and look. The hairs on the back of his neck always rose up when Crowley was near. "What do you want?" He growled, setting the glass down just a bit too hard. "If it isn't Dean Winchester, human turned demon turned human once more." Crowley said, clearly amused by Dean's displeasure at seeing him. "You still didn't say what you want." Dean snapped, keeping his voice low so as not to draw attention. "Well, I miss you mate! We had so much fun when you were a demon." Crowley's tone was mocking and it was grating on Dean's nerves. "Get lost Crowley, unless tonight is the night you want to die." Dean shot him a look that knocked the smug expression off the King of Hell's face. Crowley sighed deeply, feigning hurt at Dean's rejection of him. "I came to give you news about the case you're working on, but if you don't want to hear it..." He started to get up but Dean grabbed his arm. "What news?" Dean doubted anything Crowley had to say. The demon was a liar and completely self-serving. If he had news about the case it was either a death trap or there was something he wanted. He was smart enough to know that Crowley actually liked him and for a short time had considered him as a friend, if a demon can even have friends, and he didn't really want to see Dean die. Sam, well, he wouldn't care if Sam died, but he still had hopes that Dean would accept him again, and Dean intended to use that to his advantage. Shirley came with Dean's shake and set it down in front of him. She looked at Crowley, unsure. "Did you want to order something?" She asked. Crowley sat back down and Dean returned his hand to the counter, gripping the tall glass that held the shake. "You know what? I believe I would like something to eat." Crowley peered at the menu for a moment before putting it back in the holder in front of him. I'll have your mushroom burger with fries, and coffee." He smiled at the waitress but she frowned. "Alright. It'll be done in just a few minutes." Shirley couldn't get away fast enough. "She's a sensitive, did you know that?" Crowley said in a conspiratorial tone. "Spill it Crowley, my patience is wearing thin." Dean said irritably. Crowley stuck out his lower lip, pretending to be hurt by Dean's attitude but he couldn't hold it long before smiling. "Right then. So, the missing girls you're seeking? The ones that were kidnapped? They're not dead. Yet." Crowley nodded and smiled when Shirley returned with a coffee cup and a pot of coffee. She poured him a cup before hurrying off again. Crowley opened the little creamer containers and poured them into his coffee as he waited for Dean to speak. "So you know for a fact that they're alive?" Dean asked. "Oh yes, they're alive. And you are not dealing with vampires. This is something much older, and with a much worse attitude." Crowley replied. He sipped at his coffee while Dean drank some of the shake. "Do you know what we're up against?" Dean asked. Crowley raised a finger as though he had some crucial bit of information share. "No, I do not." He dropped his hand back to the counter. Shirley returned with two plates of food, setting one down gently in front of Dean while practically shoving the other in front of Crowley. “Enjoy your food.” She said before hurrying off again. Dean had a smirk on his face. “You have that effect on a lot of people, you know that?” He looked right at Crowley as he popped a fry in his mouth. Crowley poked at the burger before settling on picking up a French fry. He brought it to his mouth and chewed slowly. “I resent that you know.” He said dryly. Dean laughed before turning his attention to his burger. It was better than he had expected. He’d have to grab another one tomorrow before they left to go hunt. He chewed thoughtfully for a moment before looking again at Crowley. “So do you have anything else useful to tell me?” Crowley took a sip of his coffee before answering. “You’re up against something you haven’t faced before. You better call your angel boyfriend in to help you. He’ll have more knowledge on this subject than you or the moose.” Dean opened his mouth to say something snotty but decided against it. If he worded it wrong Crowley would just poke more fun at him. Why did everyone keep calling Cas his boyfriend? Even that prick Metatron had inferred that there was more between him and Cas than just friendship. Cas’ words echoed in his head ‘Dean and I share a profound bond…’ His stomach did a weird little flip and he realized he had lost his appetite. That almost never happened. “What’s the matter, get butterflies in your tum thinking about your angel?” Crowley’s tone was mocking and Dean felt his anger rising again. “I suggest you leave. Now. I won’t feel quite so generous in about thirty seconds.” Dean was practically snarling. “I wasn’t hungry anyway.” Crowley said, and then he was gone. How he did that without people noticing Dean didn’t know. He turned back to his plate of food and then waved to Shirley. She looked much more at ease with Crowley gone. “Sorry about him. He’s the King of Hell. Literally.” He motioned toward his plate and the food Crowley had left behind. “Can you put this all in a couple of doggie bags for me please?” He flashed her his flirtiest smile and she blushed. “Of course.” She picked up the plates and hurried off to slip the food into Styrofoam containers, leaving him to finish off his shake. He reached into his back pocket and pulled out his wallet. He slapped a twenty on the table and took the plastic bag with the two containers that Shirley handed him. “Thank you.” He smiled again as he took the bag. Sam wasn’t going to be happy with a mushroom burger, but too bad. He headed back to the motel room and went in. Sam was still sitting at the table though he had shifted his position. When he drew his legs up his knees almost touched the underside of the table. He looked up when Dean walked in. “You read my mind, I’m starving. What did you get?” Dean set the bag on the table. “I hope you like mushroom burgers.” Dean said, taking one of the containers out, checking to make sure it was the right one and then plopping it on the table next to the laptop. “Seriously?” Sam complained as he opened the box lid. He hadn’t thought Dean was serious until he saw the mushrooms spilling out of the sides of the burger. He grimaced but didn’t say anything more about it. He was hungry enough that he would eat it. Dean took his food over to his bed and sat down with it. He picked at the fries and ate more of the burger but his appetite was gone. Crowley had done an excellent job of squashing it with his mocking of Cas’ feelings for him. What was everyone seeing that he was missing? And why did it leave him with a strange fluttering feeling in his belly when he thought about it? “I had unwanted company at the diner.” He said, trying to take his mind off Cas. Sam had a big hunk of burger in his mouth and was chewing it when Dean spoke. He chewed faster, swallowing hard. “What did Crowley want now?” He asked. “He said he had pertinent information to this case. He says we’re up against something worse than vampires, though he claimed he didn’t know what it was exactly.” Dean replied. Sam frowned. “Worse than vampires? Well that doesn’t tell us very much. I can think of a hundred things worse than a vampire.” Dean cleared his throat. “Yeah, he, uh, said Cas would know more about it than us.” He tried to make a light joke of it but Sam’s frown only grew deeper. “Then you better call Cas back, tell him to come.” For some reason Dean now felt uncomfortable. “He’s uh, already on his way down here.” Sam’s frown was now including one raised eyebrow but he said nothing more. He turned his attention back to the burger, taking another bite. Dean forced himself to finish his food and tossed the container in the garbage by the bathroom door. He returned to the bed and picked up the TV remote from the nightstand. He turned it on and began channel surfing. “Just please, no porn, ok?” Sam asked, his attention back on the laptop, the burger finished. Dean shot him a dirty look that he didn’t see and then returned to searching for something to watch. He stopped on a movie that looked vaguely familiar. As he watched a man in a trench coat entered the scene from the left and Dean felt his breath catch in his throat. From the back, with the dark hair he looked like Cas and Dean was both surprised and annoyed by his reaction. It wasn’t until the man turned and Dean could see that the man in fact looked nothing like the angel he knew so well that the fluttering in his stomach began to pass. He realized Sam was looking at him again. “You ok man?” His brother asked. “I don’t think the burger agreed with me.” Dean lied. Sam grimaced. “Great. Just don’t throw up in here.” He turned back to the laptop, shifting his weight and stretching out his legs again. Dean changed the channel, settling on a show he hadn’t watched in years, trying to lose himself in it but his thoughts kept turning to Crowley’s words. He had called Cas his angel boyfriend. Did Cas look at Dean that way? More importantly, how did he feel about the idea that Cas even could? He had always felt like there was something deeper between himself and the angel, but he wasn’t sure what it was. At first he had attributed it to the fact that he was supposed to become Michael’s vessel. Being a vessel for an archangel meant he was good, someone worthy of God’s favor, if God even still existed, and while he wouldn’t bring it up to Sam or to Cas, being thought of as someone good and worthy made him feel important. He had felt so unworthy, of love, of friendship, of everything after his stint in hell, and the first time Cas had told him the reason he had dragged him back to earth was because there was a higher purpose for him. Sure, he had ended up denying Michael (the dude was a real prick), but it was the idea that he was special that he had clung to. Even after the fight between Lucifer and Michael had gone down and there was no longer a need for either Winchester brother Cas had continued to insist that he was important, that he was needed. It was the little bit of motivation that he’d clung to since his return from demon land. The lengths to which Sam had gone to save his soul had not surprised Dean one bit, but knowing that Cas had sunk into a depression after learning he’d died had struck a chord in him in a way he hadn’t been quite able to understand. Then to learn that once Cas learned he wasn’t dead and despite the fact that he was dying because his stolen Grace was fading, he still made his way to the bunker on the off chance that Dean’s soul could be saved. That went beyond just friendship. In some ways Dean was closer with Cas than he was with his own brother. The profound bond Cas claimed they had, Dean had to agree, there was something there. He just didn’t know what that something was. He was doing a very good job of making himself unnecessarily uncomfortable and it was making him mad. He got up and grabbed two beers from the mini fridge. Sam held out a hand, expecting Dean to hand him one but he returned to the bed with both bottles, popping the top on the first one and chugging half of it down. “Gee, thanks.” Sam said sarcastically. He got his own beer from the fridge, ignoring his brother’s brooding. When Dean got into moods like this it was best to let him be. Dean finished the first beer and started on the second. When that one was finished he got up and got two more. He flashed his brother a warning look when he opened his mouth to say something and Sam immediately shut it again, turning back to the computer. By the middle of his third bottle Dean was buzzed, but he didn’t stop. He finished it and started on the fourth. He snagged two more from the fridge, struggling to stay upright on his way back to the bed. Sam deliberately ignored him. If Dean wanted to get sloshed, let him. He could sleep on the floor if that’s what it came too. He didn’t care anymore. Dean finished the fifth bottle and started on the sixth before he was finally numb enough to drown the butterflies that seemed to have taken up residence in his abdomen. His head tipped forward and he began to doze off. Sam turned when he heard the neck of the bottle in Dean’s hand bump against the nightstand. He got up and walked over to where his brother was now passed out. “Geez Dean, what the hell is on your mind tonight?” He muttered as he took the bottle from his brother’s hand and set it on the nightstand. He moved his brother down from a sitting position into a laying position and pulled his shoes off. “I love you.” Dean muttered in his sleep, the words slurring. “I love you too Dean.” Sam sighed as he got his brother under the blankets. “Cas…” Dean sighed as he rolled onto his side. Sam froze, staring at his brother for a long moment. Was Dean dreaming about…Cas?” His thoughts turned to the play he and Dean had had the (misfortune?) fortune of stumbling across the month before last. The one at the all-girls school where they were putting on a play about their lives. It had unnerved him to see his entire life acted out on a stage, and that hadn’t been the worst part, it had been done in song! The girls playing Cas and Dean he had learned from Marie, the girl that had played him, were a couple in real life, but what had caught Sam off guard was the way Dean had looked at them. It wasn’t that he was looking at them like they were hot, because he would never look at kids that way, but like he envied them. Everyone on the planet knew how Cas felt about Dean. It wasn’t like Cas went out of his way to save anyone else from the bowels of hell or showed up every time someone prayed, until his wings got clipped that is. No, he did it for Dean only. He had come to accept the angel’s feelings for his brother, but he hadn’t stopped to consider how his brother might feel about Cas in return. He stood looking down at his sleeping brother for a long moment, waiting, hoping Dean would say something else. When he didn’t Sam grew bored and gave up. He was tired in general and ready for bed. He turned off the television and powered down the laptop before turning off the lamp on the table. His bed was hard and lumpy but he was too tired to care. Within minutes he was asleep, snoring softly. Neither heard door open a few hours later.


	2. Feelings

Chapter Two

Dean woke before the sun was up to the feeling of being watched. He turned quickly, reaching for the gun under his pillow only to feel a hand touch his arm, staying it. “It’s me Dean.” Cas said, keeping his voice low so as not to wake Sam. Dean relaxed, rolling onto his back to see him better. “How did you get in here?” His voice was still thick with sleep and his mouth felt like it was filled with cotton. Cas’ hand was still on his arm he realized. “I used the lock pick you gave me. His hand lifted from Dean’s arm and he reached into the inner pocket of his trench coat. He pulled a small case out and held it up. There was a grin on his face that Dean could see even in the dim light. He let out a small laugh and shook his head. “You’re learning Cas, that’s good.” Cas tucked the case back into his coat. Dean sat up in the bed. The beer had worn off, replaced by a killer migraine, and damn it if those stupid butterflies were back. Cas was staring at him with that intense look that Dean had become accustom to, but that unnerved other people. “You ok Cas?” He asked. Cas broke eye contact and looked away. “I’m fine.” He replied. “What’s on your mind?” Dean pressed. “Something put a bug up your rear or you wouldn’t be acting like this.” Something was going on with Cas. Dean knew him well enough to recognize when the angel was anxious. Cas looked back at him, cocking his head, confused. “I do not have-“ Dean cut him off, this time being the one to touch Cas’ hand. “Dude, I didn’t mean literally.” Cas nodded thoughtfully. He made no motion to pull his hand away from Dean’s touch. Cas’ hand was warm. Worried that it was awkward Dean pulled his hand back, folding both arms across his chest. Was that a look of disappointment on the angel’s face just now? It was so brief that Dean couldn’t be sure. “Talk to me. What’s going on?” He said softly. There was something on Cas’ mind and he was determined to get it out of him. He threw back the blanket and nudged Cas so he would move over enough to let him get up. Cas stood up and Dean got to his feet. He pulled his shoes on, lacing them up and then motioned for Cas to follow him. Sam was still snoring and he didn’t want their talking to wake him. Cas followed Dean out the door and closed it softly behind him. “Let’s go sit in the car, I don’t want to wake Sam up.” Dean said. He went to the Impala and unlocked it. Cas was waiting at the passenger door and he reached over to unlock it. Cas slid into the passenger seat and closed the door softly. “Start talking.” Dean told him. When Cas turned to look at him there was pain in those blue eyes and it tugged at Dean. He didn’t like seeing his friend in pain. “I had to part ways with Hannah.” Cas finally said. Dean nodded. “I see that.” Cas frowned. “She shared some things with me that I was not comfortable hearing.” Cas was being cryptic and it was driving Dean nuts. He wanted him to get to the point already. “What did she say?” He asked. Cas’ face contorted, a series of emotions he was not used to feeling crossing over it as he tried to find the right words. “During our time together Hannah developed some human emotions that she was unfamiliar with, and she admitted that she had…feelings for me.” There was pain on Cas’ face, though Dean could not tell if that was from the fact that he was bothered by the idea of Hannah liking him in a less than angelic way or because he was struggling with his own feelings toward her. The idea that Cas could be in love with Hannah left him with a heavy feeling in the pit of his stomach. “Oh.” Was all he managed to say. He forced himself to look away, out the windshield at the growing dawn beyond so Cas wouldn’t notice his discomfort. “Dean, I don’t feel that way about her.” Cas said. Dean looked over at him. The sun was rising quickly and he could make out how blue Cas’ eyes truly were. They contrasted with his dark brown hair making them look like pure topaz. They were beautiful. For a guy. Dean cleared his throat. “Well yeah, that’s a little weird, she’s technically your sister.” Cas rolled his eyes and sighed. “Dean, we’ve had this talk before. Angels do not have genders. While we were all created by the Father, we are not brother and sister in the human sense of the word, nor are we male or female.” His tone made him sound like he was repeating a lesson to a stubborn child for the hundredth time. “Your soul has no gender either. You were created in His image, and that reference is to your soul, not your human form.” “I know Cas, it’s just, I have a hard time looking past what is right in front of me.” He admitted. Cas’ expression softened. “Hannah was less than pleased when I explained that I did not feel the same way for her as she felt for me. She became upset, perhaps even embarrassed, though that is not an emotion I am that familiar with, and she left two nights back. She said she no longer wanted to work with me to find the rogue angels. I don’t know what I did wrong.” He sounded so lost. Without thinking Dean put a hand on Cas’ shoulder and squeezed gently. “It’s alright. She will get over it and when she does she’ll come back.” He said the words that sounded like the right ones, but he wasn’t sure. He didn’t know Hannah well enough to say one way or another what she would do. Cas looked down at Dean’s hand for a moment before lifting those blue eyes to his face. Clearly there was something on Cas’ mind that he still hadn’t gotten off his chest. “Dean…” He started to say and then sighed, his shoulders slumping. His eyes lowered to the hands he had folded in his lap. God how Dean hated sharing feelings. He didn’t like it because it made him feel vulnerable, exposed, and he had gotten this far in life by always making sure he stayed guarded. This heart to heart with Cas was having a strange effect on him. He knew he wasn’t into guys. He’d always craved the female form, sought them out, dozens upon dozens of them, though, with the exception of Lisa none had ever made him feel anything for them. For all the hope that Cas and his brother had had in him all these years he felt so empty and broken. But Cas stirred something in him, something deeper than even what Lisa could reach, and he wasn’t exactly sure what it was. Cas’ hand was resting over his now he realized, and the angel was looking at him again. He looked at Cas, waiting. “I’m not supposed to feel human emotions. I’m an angel of the Lord. My duty is to protect the humans and keep them from destroying themselves, but, I do feel emotions. Even as an angel up in heaven I felt emotions. I felt anger, betrayal, fear, love. I have loved with such fervor that I frightened even myself sometimes, but the other angels said we were better than the humans and that we had to move past these emotions, block them out.” Cas’ hand tightened over Dean’s though Dean made no move to pull away. Cas needed to get this off his chest and he was damned if he was going to stop him. Cas’ thumb brushed softly against the back of Dean’s hand. Damn it again with those butterflies! “What are you trying to say here Cas?” He pressed. “I’m saying that I could have returned to heaven, to rejoin the other angels when the gates of heaven were opened again, to block out my feelings and forget, but I chose not to. I couldn’t leave Dean. I couldn’t leave you.” Cas’ was staring at him, staring into him, and it was the most intense he had ever seen him. Cas lifted Dean’s hand from his shoulder and held it between both of his. “I know you prefer the company of women. From my one time lying with one I can understand the appeal, and I hold no expectations that you could change. I would never ask that of you. I just needed you to know this.” Dean felt numb all over. He had always been the tough guy, the one that had to be strong for everyone around him, had to show no emotion, had to be strong for everyone around him. It suddenly dawned on him that he had spent his life emulating the angel that Cas was supposed to be. The irony was not lost on him. He squeezed Cas’ hand, reassuring him that he was not going to be rejected. How could he reject the one person that could see past his gruff exterior, past his flaws, his weaknesses, his pain, and right into his soul? And after looking into the deepest parts still loved him despite? A tear slipped down Cas’ cheek and Dean couldn’t help but wipe it away. Cas caught his hand as it touched his cheek and pressed his face against it. “Do you hate me?” Cas asked. “Cas, I could never hate you.” Dean replied softly. He realized that while he was surprise by his attraction Cas’ human form he was not surprised by the feelings for Cas that went beyond mere physical attraction. Cas was beautiful in a way that was indescribable, and Dean realized now what it meant for two people to be soul mates. “I’m not leaving you either. I’m here for as long as I am alive, and then even beyond that.” He reached his hand past Cas’ face to pull him closer. He wrapped the smaller man in his arms and hugged him tight. He felt Cas’ arms slowly slide around his waist to squeeze him back. It felt good holding Cas. It felt right. 

 

By now the sun was fully up in the sky but Dean just wanted to sit forever here in the Impala, with Cas sitting here, telling him everything that was on his mind. He spoke with ease, as comfortable with Dean as Dean was with him. He made a joke and for once Cas actually got it. He threw his head back and laughed which made Dean smile. “What are you thinking about?” Cas suddenly asked. Dean shrugged. “I wasn’t really thinking about anything. It feels good to not have to constantly worry about stuff. I’m glad you came.” Cas smiled. “I’m glad you wanted me to.” Dean chewed on his lower lip and looked out across the nearly empty motel parking lot. “You’re lying Dean.” Cas said. Usually it was Sam that could tell when Dean was lying, but Cas was on to him. “I’m trying to figure out what I’m supposed to be feeling here. This is new for me.” Dean admitted. “I understand.” Cas said and sat quietly. Was he planning to just sit there and let him sort out his emotions? This was not a five minute decision. His emotions were in turmoil. His thoughts turned to Lisa. The one woman in his life he had loved if you didn’t count his mother. Despite the hell he had put her and Ben through he still loved her, but he realized that he wasn’t in love with her anymore. She had closed that door, locked it and thrown away the key, and he didn’t blame her. He’d brought his demons right to her doorstep, something he never should have done, and endangered them both. It was in their best interest for him to stay away forever. He thought of her smile, her deep brown eyes so full of love, the way her body had felt in his arms… He missed that closeness with another person. Sure, he’d slept with women since then, especially during his time as a demon, but he always felt a little more empty afterwards, and so since returning to being a human he had not shared a bed with another woman. While the idea of sex was exciting, the lack of emotional connection made the idea of sleeping with another woman unappealing. He felt emptier than ever before. Cas was still waiting patiently. The guy would probably wait until the end of time for him to make up his mind. Truth was, it wasn’t that his mind needed making up. He knew that was he was feeling was love on what could only be a deeply spiritual level. It was the fact that never before had he felt this way about another man. Even if technically Cas wasn’t a man. He sighed slowly and looked over at the angel sitting beside him. Cas smiled at him. Yeah, this guy would wait forever. Dean folded his arms over the steering wheel and lowered his head, needing to just think for a minute without the temptation of looking over at Cas. His life had been so much less complicated before angels came into it, but he wouldn’t wish Cas away for anything in the world. Damn it. This was turning out to be incredibly more complicated than it needed to be. He came to the conclusion that there was only one way he was going to know for sure if he could deal with Cas’ human vessel. He picked his head up and looked at Cas again. Still that goofy grin on his face. The butterflies in Dean’s belly felt like they were trying to escape now, but out through his groin, and it was an entirely unsettling feeling. “Dean?” Cas asked, his smile faltering. Something on Dean’s face has changed, thought he couldn’t quite put his finger on it. It was as though there was a hunger in his eyes. “Don’t hate me for this, ok?” Dean asked. “I could nev-“ Cas didn’t get to finish the sentence because suddenly Dean’s mouth was on his. For a moment Cas froze, startled but the spontaneous kiss, but within seconds he melted against Dean, kissing him deeper, his tongue searching out Dean’s and finding it. Dean pulled him closer and he let himself be pulled. Dean’s mouth tasted like stale beer, at first it felt as though he was holding back, afraid to let himself enjoy it, but Cas brought his hands up, cupping Dean’s face, drawing him into the kiss even deeper. “Oh God.” Dean gasped when he finally sat back. His heart was racing and he was short of breath. “That was…very nice.” Cas said. He was breathing harder than usual too. “I don’t think I’ve ever kissed anyone like that before.” Dean admitted. “I liked it very much.” Cas was smiling again. “Yeah, it wasn’t bad.” Dean said. Cas was still sitting incredibly close, practically in his lap, but he found that he liked the closeness. He looked back over his shoulder at the motel room. Sam wouldn’t be asleep much longer and this wasn’t something he was ready to discuss with his little brother. “Come on, we’re going for a drive.” Dean said as he pulled the keys from his pocket and started the car. “Where are we going?” Cas asked, moving back into the passenger seat to give Dean room to drive. “We’re going to go get breakfast and talk.” Dean replied. His heartbeat was finally slowing back down but his mind was racing. There was a lot to talk about. He just had to figure out where to start.


	3. Sam's Suspicions

Sam woke feeling even more tired than he had before he went to bed. This bed was perhaps the worst of any motel they had ever stayed in, and they had stayed in some pretty bad ones. Sunlight was streaming in through a slit in the curtains where they did no quite meet and it was hitting him smack in the face. Groaning he sat up and stretched. He looked over at his brother’s bed but it was empty, the blankets tossed aside. “Dean?” He called out, thinking his brother was in the bathroom. When no one answered he got up and went to the bathroom. The door stood open, the tiny room empty. “Where the hell did you go?” He muttered. He crossed the room to the front door and pulled it open. The impala was gone but parked one spot over was a dusty sedan. Cas was here. “Cas?” He called out. Again there was no answer. Clearly they had gone somewhere together. Where the hell would Dean go this early in the morning? He was not a morning person and rarely got up before ten unless Sam nagged at him to get up. Something had motivated his big brother to not only get up but to take Cas and drive off. He wondered what the hell was bugging Dean so bad lately. This merited further consideration but in the meantime he needed a shower.

Sam had just finished shaving and brushing his wet hair when he heard the door to the room open and then heard voices. “Sammy? I got you breakfast.” Dean said. Sam stepped into the bedroom and saw his brother laughing, having what looked like a pleasant conversation with Cas who was grinning from ear to ear. When was the last time he had really seen his brother this happy? He honestly couldn’t remember. “Thanks.” He said. He had put his pants on but still needed to grab a clean shirt from his bag. The smell of the food in the paper bag on the table was too strong to ignore though and he bypassed his bag in favor of seeing what Dean had brought. “Oh, pancakes, that’s better than that burger last night.” Sam said, grimacing at the memory of the crummy diner meal. Dean and Cas were already sitting down at the table across from the chair he’d sat in last night and Dean had another Styrofoam container open in front of him and he was digging into a stack of pancakes inside it. Cas was sitting quietly next to Dean watching them both eat. “Want some?” Dean pushed the container toward Cas. “No, I don’t want to take your food.” He declined. Dean pulled the container back without arguing and continued eating. “So, where did you guys run off to this morning?” Sam asked casually between bites of pancakes. “Cas showed up so we talked for a while and then went to get breakfast. We can’t go looking for missing girls on an empty stomach.” Dean said. He grabbed a coffee cup out of a carrier that Sam had missed behind the still open laptop. He had remembered to turn the laptop off but not to close it last night, but he shut it now and saw another cup waiting for him. “Coffee too, I’m impressed.” Sam said. Dean gave him a quick smile but kept shoveling food into his mouth. This was the first morning in a while that Dean hadn’t started the day off with a beer and Sam was wondering what that meant. “You feeling ok this morning?” Sam asked. Dean looked up, a frown on his face. “I’m fine.” Sam nodded. “That’s good. It’s just, you drank a lot last night. I figured you’d have a hell of a hangover this morning.” He realized his older brother was darn near glaring at him. “Dean, you’re drinking again?” Cas asked, frowning. “Not anymore.” Dean said without taking his eyes off his brother. Despite the fact that he practically towered over Dean, Sam still withered under his brother’s stare. He lowered his eyes to his own food, picking up a strip of bacon and chewing on it thoughtfully. “So tell me about this case you are working on.” Cas said. “You didn’t tell him anything?” Sam asked, surprised. Dean let out an annoyed sigh. “No Sammy, I didn’t. But since you brought it up, have at it.” Cas touched Dean’s arm. “Don’t be angry with Sam, he hasn’t done anything to warrant it.” Dean looked at Cas for a moment and then nodded. “Yeah, ok.” He chewed on a piece of bacon and motioned to Sam to start talking. Sam was riveted to the fact that Cas still had his hand on Dean’s arm, and Dean wasn’t pulling away or squirming away from the physical contact. He forced himself to look at Cas directly. “So, uh there have been a series of missing persons cases here in this town over the last three months. Six in total, all young women between the ages of seventeen and twenty four, and all of them locals, born here in town. Crowley seems to think you will have some info on this.” Cas turned and folded his hands on the table so that he was directly facing Sam. “Crowley was here?” “He found me in the diner last night. Said you would have more information on this. All he really said was that the girls are still alive and that whatever this is, it’s not vampires. And it’s really old.” Dean said. Cas’ frown turned into a scowl. Dean had finished his food and closed the container. He leaned his arms on the table, his hands close to Cas’, seemingly unaware of how close they really were. Sam did not know what to make of it. Dean realized how uncomfortable his brother suddenly looked but he wasn’t ready to pour his heart out to him, so instead he shifted his weight and moved further away from Cas. Cas noticed and turned his scowl on Dean. Dean said something to the angel that Sam couldn’t make out and Cas’ expression softened and he nodded. He turned back to look at Sam. “I feel like I’m being left out of a big secret. What are you two hiding?” Sam asked. He hated being left out, and clearly there was something going on with his brother and Cas. Cas cocked his head as though considering the question. “I am not hiding anything.” He replied, and Sam believed him. Cas wasn’t very good at lying or being deceitful. If Dean asked him not to say something, he wouldn’t, but only because he had made a promise. Dean on the other hand could and would lie to cover his own ass. The fact that he was sitting across the table right now staring down at his coffee cup as he had stared into so many bottles of beer over the years told him that while he wasn’t exactly hiding things, he wasn’t exactly ready to share either. “You know what, forget I asked. Cas, do you know anything about these disappearances?” Sam asked. “Sam…” Dean said. He sounded tired. “No Dean, if you and Cas have something going on, whatever it is, it can wait. Crowley said these girls are still alive, right? So we need to do everything we can to find them.” He shoved aside his now empty food container and pulled the laptop over so that it was in front of him. Cas was thoughtful for a moment. “Are the girls still pure?” He finally asked. “Pure? Like as in virgins?” Dean asked. “Yes, exactly.” Dean got up and grabbed the file he’d left on his bed the night before. He carried it back to the table and sat back down. The folder was pretty thick and Dean flipped it open, searching for something that would hint that these girls were still virgins. He doubted it would be written in the police reports, but sometimes local police surprised him. A quick scan of the first few reports told him he wasn’t going to find what he was looking for. Sam was typing away on the laptop researching creatures that hunted and killed virgins. “If they’re virgins…” Cas was thinking aloud, considering what it could possibly be. “Do you an idea of what it is?” Dean asked. Reluctantly Cas nodded. “There are creatures that feed on virgins and then there are creatures that sacrifice virgins. If Crowley is right and these girls are still alive, then you’re looking for something that is sacrificing them.” Dean looked from Cas over to Sam. “Sacrificing virgins? Why does this sound like something smack out of ancient Mexican legends?” Sam looked at his brother questioningly. “Are you referring to the Aztecs who made human sacrifices? They sacrificed a lot more than just virgins.” He said. “Got a better idea smart guy?” Dean asked, though there was no anger in his voice. “Give me an hour to research it and I’m sure I’ll come up with something.” Sam said. “There are creatures in legends and mythology that are not accurately described. Don’t dismiss a piece of information thinking it does not pertain to the case.” Cas warned. Sam nodded. “Got it.” Dean leafed through the files in the folder, looking for anything that stood out. “Wait up, what is this? Four of the girls are all wearing one.” He slid the pictures toward Cas and pointed to a silver band on the ring finger of each girl’s left hand. “Purity rings.” Cas replied. “Let me see those.” Sam said, and Dean slid the pictures across the table to him. “Give me the other pics.” Sam said after a few minutes of studying the pictures. Dean fished the last two pictures out and handed them over. Sam only had to look at the pictures for a second to find what he was looking for. He turned the picture in his hand around so Dean and Cas could both see it. “They’re not wearing the rings because they’re wearing purity pendants.” Dean leaned in to look at the silver charms hanging around both girls’ necks. “Huh. I didn’t know you could wear it as a necklace too.” “So we have determined they’re virgins.” Cas had a knack for pointing out the obvious. “Any idea what could be collecting virgins?” Dean asked him. Cas looked thoughtful for a moment. “There are many things I can think of that would.” Dean and Sam both waited for Cas to elaborate. “Like what?” Dean finally asked, slightly irritated. “You could be dealing with deities.” Cas said. “Deities?” Dean asked, even more irritated. “Gods, Dean, like the Greek Gods, or Nordic Gods.” Sam clarified. “We already went up against those bastards.” Dean growled. “There are a lot of them. Like, hundreds.” Sam told him. “You gotta be kidding me.” Dean threw his hands up in the air in frustration. Cas was watching him but he didn’t say anything. Even he had learned that when Dean got like this it was best to let him work through his frustration on his own. Dean got to his feet. “I’m going into town to question the families, see what I can find out.” He looked down at Cas. “You coming?” Cas stood up. “I’m going to change. Give me thirty minutes.” Dean said. He went out to the Impala, leaving the room door open. Cas started to follow but Sam stopped him. “Dude, he needs his suit. Give him a minute. Dean returned with a clothes bag draped over one arm, shutting the door behind him. “I’ll be ready in a little bit.” Dean said, walking past Cas to the bathroom. “I’ll just…wait here.” Cas sighed. When the water started Sam got up from his chair. “Hey, Cas.” He waited for the angel to turn around and look at him. “Yes Sam?” “What the hell is going on with you and Dean? And don’t you dare try to lie to me. Dean does enough lying for all of us.” Sam stood with his arms crossed staring down at Cas, using his height to try and intimidate the smaller man, but it wasn’t working. Cas didn’t really comprehend intimidation. Cas looked up at the taller man, his face impassive, yet there was something there in his eyes, something that made Sam even more suspicious. “Dude, I know you have a thing for my brother. What I want to know is what is actually going on between you two. If I can’t get it out of him I’ll sure as hell get it out of you.” Sam was angry and making no effort to hide it. “You need to talk to Dean about it. He has asked me not to say anything until he does.” Cas replied, his face remaining blank. “You are an infuriating little shit, do you know that?” Sam complained. “That is a figure of speech, is it not?” Cas asked. Sam ran his hands through his hair and started up at the ceiling for a long time trying to get his temper under control. He didn’t explode nearly as much as Dean did, but this was pissing him off more than he cared to admit. He finally looked at Cas again. “Are you and Dean sleeping together?” “I do not need sleep Sam, you know that.” Cas said matter-of-factly. “I could punch you right now, you know that?” Sam said, irritated beyond belief. “Are you fucking my brother? Can I put it anymore plainly than that?” Sam spoke each word slowly and with great purpose, and watched Cas’ face closely for a reaction. Cas’ expression darkened and for the first time there seemed to be color rising in his cheeks. “I am not having sexual relations with Dean.” He said. There was strain in his voice. Sam had struck a nerve. “But you want to.” Same pressed. Cas moved to the edge of Dean’s bed and sat down, his hands resting on his thighs. He stared straight at the window. “I am not comfortable with this conversation Sam.” Suddenly Sam felt guilty. Cas had been their friend for so long now and his goal was not to push him away. His shoulders slumped he returned to his chair by the laptop. He was now back in Cas’ line of sight. “Hey, I’m sorry man, I didn’t mean to push you like that.” He said. Cas shifted his eyes to Sam and gave a faint smile. Sam went back to researching on the laptop while they waited for Dean to get out of the bathroom. When they heard the shower turn off Cas turned to stare at the door. When it finally opened twenty minutes later Sam noticed how Cas’ face lit up when Dean entered the room. Dressed in a navy blue suit and freshly shaved Dean looked sharp. He was busy fixing his tie. “Come on.” He said to Cas. Cas stood up and Dean appraised his outfit. “Lose the trench coat Cas.” He ordered. Cas shrugged out of the coat and laid it on the bed. “Come here.” Dean pulled Cas closer and began adjusting his tie. “Why does this thing never hang right on you?” He muttered. Cas stood there, looking at Dean, simply happy to be this close to him. Once he got the tie adjusted Dean brushed off Cas’ suit jacket. “Please tell me you still have your FBI badge.” Dean said. Cas turned back to his trench coat and fished around in the pocket until he found the leather billfold that held his fake ID. He moved it to the inner pocket of his suit jacket. Dean handed him the comb he was keeping in his own pocket. “Do something about that hair dude, it’s all over the place.” Cas took the comb and Dean pointed to the bathroom. He watched Cas go and then went to the table to collect the folder and all of its content. “Dean, what the hell is going on with you and Cas? Please, talk to me.” Sam was pleading in that tone that Dean hated because it was always so hard to deny him what he wanted when he used it and pulled the puppy dog eyes on him. Dean rested both palms flat on the table but he did not look at his brother. Sam waited, expecting a lie, some sort of fabrication or even for Dean to use his usual tactics of deflection but instead he just sighed and said “I don’t know.” Sam tried not to show his surprise at his brother’s honesty. Instead, keeping his voice as low as Dean’s was he asked “Are you…in love with him?” Dean visibly stiffened but still he did not lift his head. “I don’t know.” There was pain in those words. It was clear that Dean was still trying to work through his own feelings and he wasn’t ready to talk about it yet. “It’s cool man, whatever you decide. You’re my brother and I love you.” Sam said softly. Dean finally lifted his head and looked at his little brother. There was so much conflict there, so much pain. Cas came out of the bathroom looking fresh, his hair finally under some control. “I used some of your gel, I hope that’s ok.” He said to Dean. “Sure man, whatever.” Dean forced a smile. Cas held the comb out and Dean took it, acutely aware of the sensation of Cas’ fingers brushing against his as he took it. He immediately looked at his brother but Sam’s attention was back on the laptop. “I’ll compile a list of possible things it could be, just call me if you find anything.” Same told them. “Sure thing.” Dean said and guided Cas out the door. It was time to hunt.


	4. PDA'S and Biblical Clarifications

There was not much Dean and Cas learned from their questioning than what was already in the reports and by noon Dean was hungry. “I know you don’t need to eat but I do.” He said, pulling into the parking lot of the first fast food place they came across. Cas remained quiet as they got out and went inside. “You ok man?” Dean asked him after he had ordered and was carrying his cup to the soda fountain to fill it. “I was thinking of the dates that each girl disappeared.” Cas replied thoughtfully. “Do the dates have some kind of significance?” Dean asked. “I believe they do. I would need to see a calendar with the cycles of the moon though.” Cas replied. Dean’s order was up so he handed his drink to Cas and grabbed his tray. “Come on.” They went to the back of the nearly empty restaurant and sat down across from each other. Dean desperately wanted to concentrate on the case at hand, focus on rescuing these girls, not on how he was feeling about Cas, or how under the table Cas’ outstretched leg brushed against his knee sending delicious shivers through him. Goddamnit! Still, he didn’t move his knee. Thankfully Cas seemed lost in thought, unaware of the contact between their bodies. Dean handed him his phone. “Do you know how to use Google? Look up the lunar cycles.” Cas took the phone and began looking up the information. “Here, this is what I thought it was.” He shifted in his seat so that he could lean across the table and his leg pulled away. For a moment Dean felt a strange mixture of emotions at the lack of contact but then Cas was mere inches from his face. Cas looked up at Dean, intending to show him the information he had discovered but Dean was right there, close enough to kiss. “You have…” He motioned toward the corner of Dean’s mouth where there was a smudge of ketchup. Dean wiped his mouth with his hand and swallowed the hunk of burger in his mouth. “Uh, thanks.” Dean said and flashed him a smile. Cas forced himself to turn his attention back to the phone. “So there are six girls, two disappeared in May, two in June, and two this month. One disappeared exactly a week before the full moon and one on the full moon. That’s why the police weren’t finding a pattern, they were looking at the dates and not the cycles of the moon.” He held the phone out so Dean could see the lunar calendar he had found. Instead of just taking the phone Dean took his hand and turned it so he could see the screen better. He was frowning at the screen when he realized Cas was staring at him. “Dude, I know I’m hot but you really have to work on the whole staring thing.” There was playful affection in his tone when Dean spoke and Cas smiled. “I am sorry Dean.” He lowered his eyes to the phone. Dean let go of his hand and picked his burger back up. “So do you have an idea of what we’re dealing with yet?” Cas set the phone down and crossed his hands, but he did not sit back. Dean could kiss him right now if he wanted to (and God did he want to) but instead he bit into his burger and studied Cas’ face with those intense green eyes of his. Cas was staring right back. “Sam asked me what was going on.” He said suddenly, changing the subject. Dean nodded. “I figured he would. He’s a smart guy. Not a whole lot gets past him.” “He asked me if we were fucking.” Cas said bluntly. Dean choked on the bite of burger he was trying to swallow and started coughing. Cas handed him his drink and he swallowed down half the cup. “Geez Cas, don’t sugarcoat it.” He said still trying to get the coughing under control. Dean could see the discomfort on his friend’s face. He knew Cas well enough to know that Cas wouldn’t have volunteered any information that Dean wasn’t ready for Sam to know, but the fact that Sam’s mind automatically turned to sex bothered him greatly. “I told him no.” Cas said, and of course that was the truth, but the upset look on his face bothered Dean. They were in public and Dean was afraid that people were watching but he took the chance anyway and reached across the table taking Cas’ hand in his own. It was warm and Cas’ fingers curled immediately around his own as though hungry for the contact. “Hey, I’m sorry about Sam. I’ll talk to him, don’t worry about that.” He spoke gently and when Cas’ eyes rose to meet his own he could feel the heat rising in his face. Damn him and his blue eyes. “Dean, I need to tell you something.” Cas said. “Anything, you can tell me anything.” He said. Cas’ fingers wove into his until they were holding hands across the table like lovers. Dean wasn’t exactly sure how he felt about that. He liked the skin on skin contact with Cas, but he had never held hands with a dude before, except maybe to hold Sam’s hand when they crossed the street as kids, but that was different. This was intimate, and when Cas’ thumb brushed across the back of his hand he felt the butterflies explode in his belly yet again. Trying to guess what Cas was going to say was next to impossible and he waited nervously for the angel to speak. Cas seemed to be trying to find the right words. “I want you to know that many books in the bible are not the actual word of my Father but are actually just human interpretation based on the traditions of that time period.” He finally said. Dean’s brow knit as he tried to understand the meaning behind what Cas was trying to say, but it went over his head. “So, what are you trying to say? The bible didn’t have divine intervention?” Cas shook his head. “No, many parts did, but there are certain books that were simply the opinion of man guised as the word of God.” Cas explained. “What books in particular?” Dean asked. Never one to beat around the bush Cas got straight to the point. “There is nothing in the true gospels stating that man cannot lie with another man. It is not about the human body. As I said earlier, the soul has no gender and when people are drawn together it’s their souls that are feeling that pull, not the body itself. These vessels, that is all they are, vessels.” For a long time Dean sat quietly, thinking, considering the words Cas had said. He had never considered himself homophobic, though he had also never considered the thought of sleeping with another man. Until now. Cas was looking up at him, ever so patiently waiting for Dean to think through the implications of what he was saying. “So, if two guys have sex, they’re not immediately going to hell for it? Is that what that means?” Dean asked. Cas nodded. “I never believed they would for something as silly as that. Besides, when I was there I never saw any gay guys on the rack just for having taken a lover.” Dean said it very casually and Cas’ eyebrows went up, his blue eyes widening. He had half expected Dean to get flustered and pull away, to retreat back into his hard shell and block him out, but he didn’t. Instead with his free hand he picked up a fry and popped it into his mouth. “You continue to amaze me Dean Winchester.” Cas said, smiling. Dean smiled back. “I am amazing, aren’t I?” His tone was cocky but humorous and he loved seeing Cas’ smile widen and then hearing the sound of his laughter. The man was beautiful when he laughed, and for the first time Dean wasn’t uncomfortable with thinking Cas was beautiful. Cas was looking at him again, the smile still on his face. “I very much enjoyed kissing you earlier. I would like to kiss you again.” Dean lifted one eyebrow and smiled. “Yeah, uh, me too.” He cleared his throat. That did make him slightly uncomfortable having their make out session this morning discussed but he had felt more emotion during that kiss than he had felt in the last ten years, and it had felt good to feel something again. Dean squeezed his hand. “Come on, Sam has to be wondering where we are by now.” Giving Cas’ hand one last squeeze he pulled his hand away. He tossed the last few fries in his mouth and took the tray to empty it. When he turned around Cas was right behind him holding his cup. Dean took it, finishing off the last bit of soda and tossed it in the garbage. It was time to get back to the motel and give Sam the information they’d discovered.


	5. Not Ready Yet

“My car is gone.” Cas said when they pulled into the motel and parked. “Did you leave the keys here?” Dean asked as they got out and headed for the room. Cas patted his jacket pockets and realized they were empty save for his ID in his inner pocket. “They’re in my coat on the bed.” Cas said. “He probably went for something to eat.” Dean said as he opened the door. The laptop is still on the table but it’s turned off. There is a piece of paper lying on the keyboard and Dean crossed the room to pick it up. It was a note from Sam. 

“Do you ever pick up your phone Dean? Charlie is back from Oz! She tried to reach you but when you didn’t answer she called me. I’m heading back to the bunker to see her. The case is pretty straight forward. If you need me to come back and help I will but I think you and Cas can handle it. Do me a favor though, work through your issues with him. I don’t know what exactly you two are feeling toward each other, but you need to figure it out or it’s going to mess with your head and I don’t want anything distracting you from hunting. So dude, if you love him, tell him. If you don’t, tell him. He deserves that much. Call me later. Laptop is in hibernation mode. I left the websites loaded for you. See you soon.

Sam

Dean pulled his phone from his pocket and saw eleven missed calls. “Damn it!” He growled when he realized his phone had been put on silent. He didn’t remember doing it but whatever, it was too late now. Cas was standing by the bed watching him. “Did you figure out where Sam is?” He asked. Dean considered handing him the note to read but thought better of it. Instead he slipped it into his inner jacket pocket before taking the jacket off and tossing it on Sam’s bed. “Charlie came back. Sam went to see her. He’s leaving the case up to you and me.” Dean replied. “Who is Charlie?” Cas asked. Dean smiled at the thought of Charlie. “She’s a friend. Someone we care a lot about.” Cas nodded but did not inquire further. Dean loosened his tie and pulled it off. He tossed that on the table and began to unbutton his shirt before he realized how intently Cas was staring at him. “Relax dude, kick back, take your jacket off. I’m going to go change.” He went to his bag and fished out a pair of jeans and a tee shirt. Cas was taking his jacket off as Dean headed to the bathroom to change. He suddenly felt shy, something he never felt and he didn’t want to strip down in front of the angel. 

When Dean returned to the bedroom Cas was sitting on the edge of the bed. He had taken off his jacket and loosened his tie but that was it. Dean padded over to the bed and stood over him. Cas looked up at him with those incredible eyes of his. Neither man spoke. Neither man had to. Cas stood up and before Dean could react he took Dean’s face in both of his hands and pressed his mouth against the surprised Winchester’s. For a brief moment Dean hesitated. Was this really what he wanted? As Cas kissed him deeper he felt a pull deep in his groin that told him yes, this was exactly what he wanted. His arms snaked around Cas, pulling his body close, kissing him deeper, their tongues finding each other, their bodies pressed so tightly there was no room between them. Cas’ hand slid up under Dean’s shirt touching his lower back and eliciting a moan of pleasure from the taller man. Cas’ mouth moved to Dean’s throat, his collarbone, coming back up to his ear and sending shudders of ecstasy through him. “Oh God…” Dean gasped. The pull in his groin grew stronger and he was sure Cas could feel it pressed against his own leg, though he was not addressing it. Yet. “Where the hell did you learn to kiss like that?” Dean asked. His voice was thick, full of want and need, and Cas pressed his mouth once more to his, silencing him. He pushed Dean back, watching him fall onto the bed. Dean sat up on his elbows looking up at him. “What are you doing here Cas?” He asked, though Cas was sure he already knew exactly what he was doing. Cas began unbuttoning his own shirt and pulled it off a bit too hard sending the buttons at his cuffs flying across the room. Dean was surprised to see that his attraction to seeing the angel standing before him shirtless only increased. Cas was toned, his muscles flexing beneath pale skin as he tossed the shirt aside. Dean reached up and grabbed him by his belt, pulling him down onto the bed. Their hungry mouths found one another again as their hands began to explore one another. Cas’ hand came to rest under Dean’s shirt, directly over his heart. “I’ve never done this before, with another guy.” Dean’s voice was barely above a whisper. “We’ve had this discussion before Dean.” Cas’ voice was deeper than usual, full of the same passion and want that was in Dean’s. He let his hand slide down Dean’s chest to his stomach and then to the button on his jeans. Dean put one hand over his, staying it. “I’m not ready for that just yet.” His voice betrayed him, revealing the fear he felt at that moment. Rather than be upset at getting rejected Cas simply slid his hand across Dean’s stomach eliciting another shudder of pleasure and pressed his mouth against his throat. “Cas…” Dean hated how his voice hitched as he said the angel’s name, and how it betrayed the lust he was feeling. When their eyes met next there was nothing but love and patience in those blue eyes, and it made Dean feel a little better. While the kissing and touching was out of this world he just wasn’t ready yet to take it any further. Once more Cas’ mouth was on his, kissing him with more passion than he thought possible and he kissed back hard, winding his fingers through Cas’ hair and crushing their mouths together. Dean was surprised by the smaller man’s strength when he wrapped an arm around him and pulled him close so that their bodies were pressed together. Their kisses slowed but still their hands explored and everywhere Cas touched him made Dean shudder. He was going to need one hell of a cold shower after this. He turned on his side, putting his back to Cas, opting to be the one getting spooned and shivered when Cas pressed his lips to the back of his neck and pulled him close. Any conflicting emotions he had been feeling washed away in that moment. He felt safer than he had felt in years wrapped in the arms of his angel. “I love you Dean. I’ve always loved you.” Cas whispered. Dean felt his heart flutter. “I love you too Cas. I think I always have.” He whispered back. And he knew it was the truth.

He expected that they would fall asleep lying there in each other’s arms but they didn’t. Dean was relishing this feeling of contentment, and he realized that for the first time in years he felt whole. He was complete and he owed that to Cas. “Did I push too far?” Cas asked, never one to beat around the bush. “No, it’s ok. Someday we’ll get to that point, but not just yet.” Dean assured him. His face was buried in Cas’ neck and he was inhaling the scent of sweat and skin there, loving the way he smelled. “I look forward to that day then.” Cas told him. Dean smiled, he couldn’t help it. “Me too.” The phone in the room began to ring. “I bet that’s Sam. Probably worried at this point because he can’t reach me.” Dean said, rolling over to answer it. “Sam?” He asked expecting to hear his brother’s familiar voice. “Not quite.” Crowley’s voice purred in his ear. Dean sat up quickly. “Why are you calling? What do you want?” He growled. Cas was sitting up next to him, listening and he mouthed the name of the person on the phone. Cas’ expression grew dark. “You’re welcome by the way.” Crowley said smugly. “For what?” Dean asked, the mood ruined by this demon scum. “Well, had I not found a new grace for your angel lover you two would not have been able to tighten that bond you two have. You should be thanking me really.” Crowley was so cocky and smug. If he was standing there in person Dean would have gladly stabbed him. Cas touched his arm, his fingers sliding gently up Dean’s bicep, feeling the muscles knotted there. When Dean looked at him Cas mouthed to him to hang up. “You know what I’m thankful for Crowley?” He asked. “What?” Crowley asked, clearly surprised by the question. “That I can do this when assholes like you call.” Dean slammed the phone down, finding gratification in the sound the receiver made when it slammed into the base. Right away the phone started ringing again but Dean picked it up and slammed it back down before unplugging it altogether. “I really can’t stand him.” He growled. Cas’ hand slid across his belly pulling him back against him. Dean didn’t remember taking his shirt off, but here he was lying next to Cas, naked from the waist up. Things would have gone a lot further had pants started coming off too. “You do not realize this but Crowley is lonely. His demons are rebelling against him in hell, trying to overthrow him, and he has nowhere to turn. You were the closest thing he had to a friend.” Cas murmured in his ear. “Friend? Ha!” Dean barked. Cas kissed his neck just behind his ear sending shivers through him. He wanted it to be like this forever, just him and Cas, lying here in each other’s arms, safe and warm. But there were missing girls…

He let himself lie there for another few minutes, relishing the small kisses Cas was covering his neck and back with before he reached back patting Cas’ leg. “If it were up to me I’d just lay here forever with you, but we need to get to work on this case.” He sat up, regretting the feeling as Cas’ arm slid off him and he looked back to see Cas lying on his back looking up at him. He couldn’t remember the last time he had just laid in bed with someone, cuddling and kissing. Had he ever? “I thought of something Dean.” Cas said. God he was beautiful lying there half naked, no shame about his body, one arm over his head, the other reaching across the bed to slip his fingers through Dean’s. “What?” Dean asked. “I think Crowley is scared. Whatever is coming, whatever it is that these girls were taken to be sacrificed to, it has him nervous.” “So are we dealing with a demon?” Demons were something Dean could deal with. “I know all of the demons in hell that could challenge Crowley, and I don’t think any of them are strong enough to overthrow him, but something else, something stronger might be able to.” Cas explained. “Are you back to thinking it could be a God?” Dean asked. “Not just any God. Eris, the Goddess of Discord. She was locked away centuries ago for trying to destroy the world. If she were to return she would bring a new kind of hell on earth, and Crowley would lose his disciples.” Cas explained. “I never heard of a Goddess named Eris.” Dean admitted. “You might be familiar with one of her other names. Discordia, Strife, Chaos. She’s a nasty one, and she was punished for starting wars that nearly destroyed the human race.” Cas told him. “And someone wants to let the bitch out?” Dean said it more to himself than to Cas and he was thinking. He hadn’t cared for school or earning an education as a kid, but one thing he had liked was Greek mythology. Somewhere a memory flickered. “Is she the one that started the Trojan war? The one that gave the apple to the Goddesses?” He asked. Cas nodded. “Shit.” Dean muttered. He slid off the bed and disappeared around the corner into the bathroom. After a few minutes the water in the shower could be heard. Cas got up and went to the door, listening. As though he knew Cas was there Dean called out “Cas?” “Yes Dean?” There was a thump in the shower. “Dude, are you right outside the door?” Dean asked, surprised. Cas realized it was probably best if he had waited in the bed after all. “Yes Dean.” “How bad is this Eris chick? Is she like Abbadon bad?” Dean asked. How should he compare Abbadon to Eris Cas wondered. “She is stronger, more powerful, and with a much nastier temper.” Cas replied. Dean was quiet for a moment. “Then I guess we better not let that bitch escape.” He finally said. “I agree with that statement.” Cas said, and he most certainly did.

 

Feeling better after a cold shower Dean returned to the bedroom wearing nothing more than a towel. Cas looked from the towel to his face, eyes wide. “Don’t get any ideas man.” Dean said with a playful laugh and Cas smiled. Did angels have dirty thoughts? The way Cas was looking at him he was pretty sure that Cas did. He tossed a pair of jeans and a tee shirt to Cas. “Put this on instead of that suit.” He instructed. Cas did and he was surprised to see that while the jeans were a little long they fit him rather well. Cas looked even sexier in the jeans with his hair still sticking up. The dark hair contrasted so strongly with his pale skin and blue eyes that even if he wasn’t already, Dean would swear that he looked like an angel. Dean pulled his shirt and jeans back on acutely aware of Cas watching him, appraising. “What?” He asked, a smile on his face. Cas smiled. Was he actually blushing? “I was admiring your body.” Cas admitted. Dean let out a small laugh. “Yeah, just don’t admire it too much around Sam, ok?” Cas’ grin got bigger and he nodded. “I won’t.” Dean went to the table and slid into Sam’s chair in front of the laptop. As he turned it on Cas brought another chair around so that he could sit next to Dean and see the computer screen. As promised Sam had left the websites he’d been researching up on the screen. “Hey, do me a favor?” He pulled his phone from his back pocket and handed it to Cas. “Can you charge this for me?” Cas took the phone without word and plugged it into the charger cord on the nightstand before returning to his seat next to Dean. As usual Cas’ idea of personal space was nonexistent but for once Dean didn’t mind. He was busy scribbling down notes on the tablet sitting next to the laptop. Cas reached across him and scrolled up the page, stopping on a news article from the day before. “Look at this.” Dean turned to see what he had the mouse hovering over. A traveling art exhibit had been broken into and a vase had been stolen. “Is that an urn?” He asked. “Yes.” Cas replied. He scrolled down so they could both read the article. “Shit, Eris is inside that thing, isn’t she?” “I believe so.” Cas sighed. He sat back, one arm on the back of Dean’s chair and one hand on the table. Dean turned to look at him. “Can we kill her?” Cas looked up at him, noting how intensely green Dean’s eyes were, and so perfectly framed by those long lashes. He sighed again. “I do not know of any way to kill her, however she can be contained inside the urn again, or another one if need be.” A knock at the door drew both of their attention. “Who the hell is that?” Dean muttered going to the door. He opened it and immediately started to close it again when the door swung back pining Dean behind it. “What the hell Crowley?!” Dean yelled, pushing back against the door but Crowley was already inside. Dean shut the door and stood glaring at the demon standing in his motel room. “Why have you come?” Cas asked as he stood up. “I’ve come to see how you and Moose were getting along with this kidnapping issue.” Crowley looked around the room and frowned. “But I see the big oaf has stepped out.” He looked at Cas with mild amusement. “I stopped by earlier but you two were…busy, so I decided to come back later when you were both decent.” He smirked as he watched all the color drain from Dean’s face. “Leave, now.” Cas said as he leveled the demon with an icy glare. “I don’t care if you want to paint one another’s nails and ride floats in parades full of rainbows, that’s none of my business, but I do care about whether you are making any headway on this case. Are you?” Crowley asked. More than anything Dean wanted to kill Crowley right this minute and the demon must have picked up on it because he moved away from him and closer to Cas. “Tell your boyfriend here to relax, I have come with some pertinent news.” He turned toward the door. “Unless you don’t want it…” Dean had gone from losing all color to flushing so bright red that Cas was beginning to worry that he might have a stroke. He decided to take control of the situation. “What news do you have?” He asked. “I know who you’re looking for.” Crowley replied. “We already know as well. Eris.” Cas said. For a moment Crowley looked disappointed. “He looked back at Dean. “You figured this out on your own? Without the Moose’s help?” He seemed genuinely surprised now. The veins in Dean’s neck were sticking out now, his fury rising. Cas stepped forward and grabbed Crowley by his arm. “It would be a very good idea if you left now.” He ushered Crowley toward the door but the nasty little man turned at the last minute, spinning out of the angel’s grasp. “While I dare say I am disappointed that I couldn’t give you the name of who you are looking for, I can say this. She is not being released from her prison by mere humans. She’s aided by The Furies.” Dean blinked for a minute, a memory of a history class a hundred years earlier stirring to the surface. “The Furies don’t have anything to do with Eris.” Dean growled. “Ah, never ceasing to surprise us. I didn’t think you knew any mythology.” Crowley mused. “Get out. Now.” Dean snapped. Cas interrupted the eviction by asking another question. “Why do you care one way or the other if Eris is released?” Crowley turned his attention to the angel. “You know, his clothes look good on you. Midwest chic suits you Castiel.” Crowley was deflecting the question but Dean and Cas could both see through the ruse. Cas’ eyes narrowed. “Eris threatens you. You’re afraid she’ll take over hell.” Crowley stood up taller and adjusted his tie. “I fear nothing. You’d do well to remember that.” He didn’t sound half as tough as he wanted to. Dean was done though. He grabbed Crowley by the front of his jacket, causing the little man to yelp.” “Get out!” Dean tossed a protesting Crowley out into the parking lot and slammed the door shut. Once he was gone Dean stood facing the door trying hard to get his anger under control. “Dean.” Cas said, trying to get him to turn and look his way. “Dean.” He said a second time. When Dean looked up finally the anger in his eyes was gone. “I don’t care. Let him say what he wants about me. I don’t care anymore.” There was a steely determination in Dean’s expression that Cas found baffling. “You’re the best hunter I know, and you’re the best person I’ve ever had the privilege of knowing. Don’t let Crowley or anyone ever tell you otherwise.” Cas said softly as he pulled Dean to him and hugged him. Dean allowed himself to melt into the embrace. After a moment of standing like that Dean finally pulled back. “Come on, we have work to do.”


	6. Someone To Talk To

Sam

When Charlie called Sam saw it as an opportunity to escape. For months now the tension between his brother Dean and Cas had become almost unbearable, though now he understood why. He just wondered when it was that Dean first began to have feelings in return for their ragamuffin angel. Not to mention that on more than a few occasions Dean had declared himself to be straight. Until now Sam had never considered his brother to be anything but. So what changed? He knew it had to do with that damn bond that Dean had with Cas. How many times had he prayed to Castiel for help only to receive nothing back in return? More times than he cared to admit. But Cas answered Dean’s prayers, and until his wings were clipped, he answered lightning fast. Now he would drive clear across the country if Dean asked him too. Sam didn’t know too many people that would do that for another person. Getting the call from Charlie had been just what he needed. They’d waited what felt like ages already for her to get back from Oz, and of course she would show up while they were away on a case. He checked his watch. He had left the motel room four hours earlier. He had at least another four hours before he reached the bunker, but the ride was quiet and definitely lacking in sexual tension which he really didn’t want to be stuck in the middle of anyway. Cas would help Dean with the case, he was positive of that. Still, he worried that he was leaving his brother, only human again for a few short months now, to fend for himself. That was eating at him and more than once he considered turning the car around and going back, but Dean and Cas needed to work through their issues, and if that included them realizing their true feelings he really didn’t want to be around for that. If anyone could make Dean come to terms with his feelings it would be Cas. Sam had never been able to drag it out of him, but Cas had a different effect on him. And it was a positive effect. He need someone to talk to himself and since talking to Dean was out of the question he looked forward to seeing Charlie. He put his foot on the gas. The sooner he got back to the bunker, the better.

When Sam pulled up in front of the bunker he caught a hint of red hair by the door. He parked and got out. “Charlie?” He called out. “Over here Sam!” She replied. He followed her voice around the side of the bunker entrance and found Charlie trying to close a window. “You got rain in this room because the window was left open. Don’t you check this stuff before you leave?” She asked. “You couldn’t get it closed from inside?” Sam asked squatting down next to her. “No, it was stuck.” She gave the window a good shove and it finally closed. They both stood up and she practically leapt into his arms, enveloping him in a bear hug. He hugged her back. “Good to see you again big guy.” She said. “Glad you’re back.” She was so tiny next to him that he actually had to lean down to rest his chin on the top of her head. When they pulled away she was smiling and looking past him. “Where’s Dean?” Sam smoothed his hair back and she immediately saw the uncomfortable look on his face. “So what couldn’t you talk to me about over the phone? What was so important that you had to drive like ten hours across four states to tell me in person? You know I’m not into you like that Sam, I bat for the other team.” She flashed him a cheesy grin as she tried to make light of the situation and ease his discomfort. He relaxed and smiled back. “Let’s go inside. You shouldn’t be closing windows in the dark.” She nodded. “It’s kind of creepy out here anyway.” 

 

Back inside the bunker Sam relaxed even more. He sat down at one of the tables in the main room and stretched his legs out. “So start talking.” Charlie said as she slid into the chair across from him. He eyed her for a minute. How much really to tell her? How much did he even really know?” “I am guessing this is about Dean. Did you two have a fight or something?” She asked. “No, no, nothing like that. I left him working on a case back in Indiana. Cas is with him.” He didn’t mean to put strain on that last sentence, but it happened anyway and she immediately picked up on it. “Do you have an issue with Cas? That’s the angel, right?” Sam nodded. He took a deep breath and let it out very slowly. Charlie was patiently waiting for him to start explaining. “I needed someone to talk to. Someone that was not Dean.” He explained. Charlie held her hands out wide. “That’s what I’m here for.” He leaned forward resting his arms on the table. He fiddled with his watch as he talked, looking anywhere but at her. “Cas is in love with my brother.” He finally blurted. Charlie had lowered her arms, folding her hands neatly on the table in front of her. “Oh.” Was all she said at first. Then “Can angels even love like that?” Sam shrugged. “Apparently they can.” She nodded thoughtfully. “So I’m going to go out on a limb here and say that if you’re here that means Dean’s feelings for Cas have you feeling more than a little uncomfortable. Am I right?” Sam looked up at her and she could see the guilt in his eyes. “Yeah, I thought so. Is it a bad thing though? For Dean to love someone?” She asked. “Oh no, no, that’s not it at all. It’s just…” He didn’t know how to continue. “You were positive Dean was straight.” She finished the sentence for him. Sam rarely blushed but he could feel the heat rising in his face. “I don’t care if he is, it’s just, he hasn’t been right since he got back. He’s been moody and drinking a lot, and he talks about Cas in his sleep.” He told her. “You realize this doesn’t make your brother gay, right?” She asked. Sam frowned. “Uh…” She waved a hand in his face stopping him. “Have you ever actually read up on angels? They have no gender Sam. Like, they’re not female or male. And neither are we. So, if they’re connected on a spiritual level, it’s their souls that are connecting, not their human bodies, though at some point those might connect to, if you get my meaning.” She winked at him and he felt his cheeks grow even hotter. “I don’t care if my brother is gay. I’m not going to think any less of him. And of course I want him to be happy, but Charlie, Cas is dying.” Her eyes widened. “What do you mean Cas is dying?” Sam took another deep breath and began explaining everything she had missed while she’d been away. “Damn, and I thought I had a lot of crap going on.” She muttered when he was finished. “But Cas does still have some of his own grace left?” She asked. Sam nodded. “Yes, but it’s back in heaven, and Cas isn’t exactly welcome there.” “Damn.” She muttered. “And you’re worried about Dean’s state of mind if Cas were to die, right?” Sam nodded. “Or Cas’ state of mind if anything were to happen to Dean.” As an afterthought he added “Angels have the capacity for human emotions. If they didn’t Cas wouldn’t be so in love with Dean, but they’re not supposed to tap into those feelings. They’re supposed to remain cold, separated from us humans. Most of them consider themselves to be better than humans. They see us as a blight upon the planet and would be very happy to see us wiped out as a species, but Cas and a few others don’t see it that way. The more time Cas has spent here on earth, the more he has come to embrace human emotions, and to grow to love humans. But above and beyond, my brother has always been his favorite.” He explained. Charlie chewed on the inside of her cheek for a minute. “We need to get Cas’ grace back.” She replied matter-of-factly. “Uh, we can’t do that. It’s in heaven, remember?” He reminded her. “Sure it is, but Cas can’t be the only angel that likes humans. You said there were a few others.” She was hopeful but he hated to break the news to her. “They’re dead. Gabriel, Balthazar, they were the only other ones I knew of that even remotely liked humans, and they were loyal to Cas. I’m afraid Cas is alone on this one.” He sighed deeply. Dean would be an emotional wreck if Cas died, and he would become his own undoing, drinking himself to death and self-flagellating until he finally died. There would be nothing Sam could do to bring his brother out of something like that. Dean had lost Lisa and their mother, but what he had with Cas was altogether deeper and more meaningful. Losing Cas would kill Dean. “I’m up for suggestions, if you have any.” Sam said. Charlie was thinking, he could practically see the wheels turning. She cared about Dean almost as much as he did and it gave him the tiniest bit of peace knowing he didn’t have to be the only one worrying about Dean for once. “So God took a vacation, right?” She suddenly asked. Sam nodded. “Like millennia ago.” “And the angels searched the universe for him, right?” She asked. He nodded again. “Well, did they bother to search earth?” She asked. Sam opened his mouth to say something but her question gave him pause. “They did, but hell, Metatron was hiding here for like a thousand years, if not more. Why couldn’t God?” She asked. Sam realized she was right. “Oh my God, he’s here, hiding somewhere, isn’t he?” He asked of no one in particular. “I’d bet my glass slippers on it.” She gave him another wink. Sam’s mind was now working a million miles an hour trying to figure out where God would hide if he wanted to get away from the angels. “I’ll almost bet you’ve already met him. Where better to hide than right here with us humans? He wouldn’t hide, he’d be right in the thick of things.” Charlie said. “You think?” He asked, unsure. “If I was God, and I loved humans as much as he is supposed to, then yeah, I’d come and pretend to be one. Mingle, explore, live. Being that he’s God he must have ways to stay off the angel radar. Maybe he’s just been doing it for so long that he doesn’t realize he’s out of touch and that heaven is falling apart. Maybe he just needs to be reminded.” Her logic was the soundest thing he had heard since they had first learned that heaven had been left unsupervised. A thought occurred to him. “I think maybe he’s not so out of touch though. A few years back Cas died. Like died, and something or someone brought him back. What if this is all a test? What if God is testing his angels to see which ones are the most loyal?” Charlie raised an eyebrow at that. “I think you have a point there. But at this point that makes what, three angels loyal to him? Of which two are dead? Doesn’t bode well for the rest of them if and when Big Daddy decided to head back home.” Sam’s phone buzzed in his pocket and he jumped. He pulled it out. “It’s Dean.” He said and answered the call. “Sammy, why the hell did you leave?” Dean growled in his ear. “Charlie is back.” Sam replied lamely. “I love Charlie and all but dude, we’re not fighting our typical run of the mill monsters. We’re up against Eris and The Furies.” Dean told him realizing belatedly that it sounded like the name of a bad rock band. “Wait, like the Goddess Eris, daughter of Zeus?” Sam asked, surprised. “Sure, daughter of Zeus, whatever. She’s been in an urn for centuries and those Furies bitches want to let her out. It has Crowley’s panties in a bunch because he’s afraid she’s going to challenge his claim to the throne in hell. He has a bug up his ass and keeps showing up claiming to want to help. I’m about to tear him apart he’s on my last nerve.” Sam could hear the anger and exasperation in his brother’s voice. Cas was saying something behind Dean and Dean pulled the phone away from his ear long enough to say something back. “Dude’s too literal.” Dean muttered. “I’m heading back. I need some sleep after that drive, but I’ll be back hopefully by tomorrow night.” Sam said. “You never should have left in the first place.” There was hurt in Dean’s voice though he was masking it with anger. Sam knew him too well though. “I’m sorry I left. I figured you and Cas, you guys needed to work through some issues. Are we cool?” Sam asked. There was a pause on the other end. “Sammy, we were never un-cool.” Dean said with a sigh. Charlie piped up from across the table. “I’m coming too! We’ll start back in a couple hours. I’m driving!” Dean heard her and chuckled. “Good, we could use another nerd on this one.” “We’ll see you soon bro.” Sam said. “Hurry your ass up.” Dean said softly before the line went dead. Sam smiled as he slipped the phone back into his pocket. “I’m going to take a nap, I’m dead. We can head out in a couple hours, ok?” He told Charlie. She nodded. “You bet. I’ll take the first half, you can sleep more then.” He got up from the chair and went around the table to where she sat. She looked up at him as he leaned down and planted a kiss on the top of her head. “Dean was right. We never had a sister, but if we had, we’d have wanted her to be you.” With that he went to his room. It was going to be a hell of a long ride back to Indiana.


	7. Charlie

Dean was surprised when Sam and Charlie were knocking on the motel room door by noon the next day. “What, did you two fly here?” He asked as he opened the door and let them in. “She drives like a madman.” Sam said and feigned pain when Charlie elbowed him. “I couldn’t wait to get here and see you Dean! I missed you!” She grabbed him and hugged him tight. He hugged her back just as tight and planted a kiss on her forehead. “So, how was Oz?” He asked when they stepped back. “Fun, but I missed you guys, and Dorothy, well, that ship has sailed.” She rolled her eyes. Dean laughed. Sam was searching the room but Dean was alone. “Where’s Cas?” He asked. “He’s at the diner getting lunch.” Dean closed the door and went back to the table where he had been researching Eris, trying to find a spell or ritual to lock the bitch back up, but so far he’d found nothing. Sam noticed his bed was still made up neatly but Dean’s was messy. On both sides of the bed. He averted his eyes and pretended he hadn’t noticed. He slipped into the chair next to Dean and leaned forward to see what he was looking at on the computer screen. “So apparently Eris is this great big bad ass that likes to start wars. She was responsible for some of the greatest wars in ancient times, but then daddy dearest decided she needed a time out, so he tossed her ass inside this.” Dean clicked on another page he had open with the article on the stolen urn. “But these Furies, for whatever reason they want Eris set free so she can start trouble again.” Sam was impressed. Dean had done the research all on his own and had gotten pretty damn far with it too. “Here, let me at it.” Charlie shooed Dean away and slid into his empty chair when he stood up. The door opened and Cas came walking in with a cup holder and a white paper bag. “Hello Sam.” He said. “Hey Cas.” Sam said back. Dean walked over and took the bag and cups from him. Charlie twisted around in her seat to get a look at Cas. “Hi, I’m Charlie.” Cas smiled politely and nodded. “Very nice to meet you Charlie.” Sam noticed that the holy tax accountant outfit was gone and Cas was dressed in his brother’s favorite faded band tee and an old pair of Dean’s jeans. It was definitely a better look for the angel, but seeing him dressed in his brother’s clothes made Sam wonder even more about their relationship. Charlie looked from Dean to Cas, who suddenly looked uncomfortable and then back to Dean. “Dean, stop looking like you’re going to be punished for scratching your name in your desk. No one cares. Besides, you’re adorable Cas.” She smiled up at Dean who was blushing so hard the tips of his ears were red. He set the cup holder down on the table as well as the bag of food and rubbed at the back of his neck, a nervous tick that Sam had picked up on ages ago. Cas looked surprised at being called adorable. Dean dared a side glance at his brother. Sam smiled. “Dude, it’s whatever. Are you happy?” He asked. Dean frowned for a moment before his expression relaxed and he smiled. He simply nodded. Sam nodded back. “Then let’s get working on this.” He turned his attention to the laptop that Charlie was now typing away on. Cas and Dean exchanged a look and Dean nodded. Sam knew and he was ok with it. Cas’ entire demeanor relaxed. Emotions aside, they now needed to find that urn and destroy The Furies.

Even with Charlie’s expertise she could not find information on sealing up a God in an urn so she settled on trying to find a pattern in the disappearances. Sam fetched Charlie’s tablet from the car and used it to further research on the urn, trying to figure out who had designed the first one while Cas and Dean poured through the files for the hundredth time trying to find any clues. “Try finding them on social media. See if they had any friends in common.” Charlie suggested when out of sheer frustration Dean finally closed the folder and shoved it away. “Yeah, except I don’t have a computer.” He told her. “Go out to my bag, I have a laptop in there.” Charlie said. Dean took the keys from Sam and went out to get the laptop. Back inside at the table he turned it on and pulled up every social media website he could think of. “Wait a minute.” He said when he realized what he was seeing. “Sammy, look.” He turned the computer around so Sam could see what he was looking at. Sam studied the pictures on the screen and his eyes narrowed when he realized that the same girls appeared in more than a few photos with each of the victims. “Ali, Tessa and Maggie knew all of the victims? You can track them back to all six victims?” Sam asked. Dean had a smug look on his face that he only got when he knew he had figured something important out all on his own. “Damn skippy I did. They went to college with the four older victims and were in, now get this- a ‘chastity’ club with the two younger ones.” “So those are The Furies? They’re… not what I expected.” Sam said. Dean turned the laptop back around and studied the goddesses on his screen. “Yeah, they’re hot.” Dean said with a smirk. “Oh, let me see!” Charlie held her hands out and Dean handed over the laptop. “Wow, they are hot!” She handed him back the laptop. But can they be killed?” Dean was already typing in his standard one finger way, looking for more information on them. “Maybe not, but if Eris can be bottled up, I bet they can too.” Cas was sitting on the edge of the bed worrying the edge of the shirt he was wearing and looking bored. They didn’t have another chair for him to sit on and as it was Dean was sitting on the mini fridge he had pulled out from the wall. “You ok there Cas?” Sam asked. “I am fine, thank you for asking.” Cas replied and smiled. “What do you know about The Furies? How bad are they?” Sam asked. Cas’ nose wrinkled and his mouth pulled to the side as he thought. “I have not encountered them personally but I have heard stories from other angels about their bad temperament. They are less than pleasant.” Cas replied. “Define less than pleasant.” Dean said. Cas looked at him for a moment before turning back to Sam. “They thrive on murder, chaos, pain. They make the demons of hell look like librarians.” Cas said and Sam couldn’t help but chuckle, despite the dire description. He had never heard the angel use an analogy like that. “Was that not a proper description?” Cas asked, confused. “No man, it was perfect.” Sam assured him. “So no wonder they want to raise Eris, she’s a super bitch just like them.” Dean said. “That would be an accurate assumption.” Cas told him. Dean smiled at him before he caught himself and went back into his normal scowl. Both Sam and Charlie saw it though. Charlie closed the laptop she was working on and stretched. “I’m hungry. Dean, walk with me?” She asked. Dean looked up from the laptop he was still working with. “Uh, yeah, ok.” He left the laptop open and went over to his bed to find his shoes and socks. Cas handed him the shoe he found and Charlie noted the contact between the two of them. God if they weren’t the most stinking adorable thing she had ever seen before. Ready to go, Dean got up. “I’ll be back in a few Cas, I’m just going to walk her over to the diner. You know, in case Crowley shows up.” He said. Cas nodded and smiled. 

Charlie opened the door and stepped out into the fading sunlight, letting it warm her face for a moment before Dean joined her and closed the door. “I know you Charlie, you want to talk. What did you and my brother discuss about me?” Were the first words out of his mouth. She smiled. “Oh Dean, he was just worried about you.” “Worried? So he left? Yeah, really shows how concerned he is if he up and left.” He grumbled. “You had Cas and he knew you were safe with him. Plus, you’re pretty bad ass.” She elbowed him playfully before weaving an arm through his and pulling him across the parking lot toward the diner. “He’s not like, freaked out, is he?” Dean asked and she could hear the worry he was trying to hide from her. “About you and Cas? No. He just wants you to get that stick out of your ass and lighten up. Just from the little while I’ve been here it looks like Cas has already done a pretty good job of that. I like him. He’s a bit serious, but he’s a pretty cool guy.” She smiled up at him and he relaxed a little. She nudged him again. “Do you love him?” The way his face lit up caused her heart to swell for her friend. “Yeah, I do.” “Awww! You are so adorable in love Dean Winchester!” She exclaimed, reaching up to plant a kiss on his cheek. “Yeah, that’s me alright, adorable.” He laughed. 

 

At the diner Charlie ordered food and Dean ordered a chicken Cesar salad for his brother. When Charlie raised an eyebrow at Dean’s order he shrugged. “Sammy liked rabbit food.” They took the food back to the room. Cas had Charlie’s laptop in his lap on the bed and he was tapping away on it. “Too many nerds in one room.” Dean joked as he handed the bag with the salad to his brother. “Thanks man.” Sam’s face lit up when he saw that it wasn’t another greasy burger. Instead of sitting back down on the mini fridge Dean sat down next to Cas on the bed, leaning over to see what he was reading. “Wait, we passed that place today, it’s right behind the Lutheran Church on Foster Rd.” Dean was pointing to another newspaper article, an announcement about a church fundraiser that had gone on the month before. There was a large crowd gathered outside the church and among the crowd were all six of the girls. What really drew his attention was that The Furies, all dressed in long white dresses were standing in front of the building across the street from the church. It was an old factory that when they had passed it earlier Dean had notice it was no longer occupied. Just another washed up company forced to close down. “I remember it too.” Cas said. Dean got up and went to where his suit was lying across Sam’s bed and fished his pocket notebook out. He flipped through the pages, skimming the notes he had taken earlier while talking to the parents. Sam and Charlie were both watching him intently, waiting to hear what he had to say. “So I talked with the parents earlier and these girls, they attend five different churches in town. Sandra Keener goes there.” He pointed to the church on the screen Cas had turned so Sam and Charlie could see. “Madison Freely goes to a Catholic church on the other side of town, Guadalupe Rodriguez is Episcopalian and so is Kimberly Studdard, but they went to two different churches. The last two attended an Evangelical on the west side of town.” Dean looked up at them hoping someone could make sense of what the different religions meant, and why they would all be together at the Lutheran Church. Charlie looked thoughtful for a moment before turning back to the laptop in front of her and typing away. “So, six girls, five different religions, what could they possibly have in common, right?” She turned her screen so everyone could see it clearly. “They do a food drive once a month. They’re the only church in this entire God forsaken state that runs a food drive like this every month. It is a multi-religious affair meant to bring the communities closer and establish a feeling of solidarity. Look who’s right in the front line passing out food.” Dean moved closer to get a good look. “Well, I’ll be damned, it’s the Satanic triplets.” He said dryly. Instinctively both Winchester brothers turned to look at Cas, expecting one of his literal moments but Cas just frowned at them both and closed his mouth tight. Dean couldn’t help but snicker. Sam elbowed him. “Be nice.” He admonished. Dean stood up, hands on his hips. “So, how are we supposed to capture them?” He asked of no one in particular. “They’re Goddesses but they have weaknesses too. They demand adoration. In ancient times didn’t the Gods show favor on those that worshipped them?” Sam asked. Charlie and Dean mumbled in agreement which encouraged him to continue his train of thought out loud. “So why would they suddenly pop up in the middle of the corn fields of Indiana? This isn’t Rome or Troy, it’s freaking Fairmont Indiana. Why here? Why now?” Dean saw what his brother was getting at. “Some little asshat is worshipping these nutcases.” Sam pointed at him. “That’s exactly what I’m thinking.” Cas’ frown had faded and he appeared thoughtful for a moment before turning his attention back to the laptop. It still amused Dean to see the angel typing away, one finger at a time. Even as a being older than probably time itself, Cas was still more proficient on the internet than he was. “Dean.” Cas said in his low, rumbly voice that sent shivers down Dean’s spine, though he was loathe to show that in front of Charlie or Sam. “Yeah Cas?” He asked, returning to his seat on the bed. “Look at this.” He turned the monitor so Dean could see the image he had enlarged. “What is that, a tattoo?” He asked. “It is the ancient Greek symbol for The Furies.” Cas replied. Cas then zoomed the picture back out and Dean’s jaw dropped when he saw who the tattoo was on. Hidden just under the cuff of his white dress shirt the Lutheran minister wore was a tattoo in ancient Greek. Of course Dean wouldn’t have noticed it right away, he didn’t speak ancient languages. “Son of a bitch.” He muttered softly. “Let me see that.” Sam leaned over and took the laptop from Cas and enlarged the tattoo. “Uh, Cas, Dean, did either of you see this?” He angles the laptop back toward his brother and Cas and pointed to the lady next to the minister. It was covered better but they could make out the edges of the same tattoo. “Makes sense actually. They have a cult mentality.” Charlie said when Sam swung the computer around so she could see it too. “This just gets better and better.” Dean said bitterly. Cas patted his hand reassuringly and Dean tried not to flinch and pull away but he couldn’t help but tense. Cas was not deterred though. He slid his hand into Dean’s, entwining their fingers and smiled softly up with those blue eyes of his. Dean looked at his brother and Charlie. They had noticed but they were blessedly saying nothing. Dean’s cell started ringing on the nightstand and he was forced to tear his hand away to crawl across the bed and get it. “Hello?” He asked. This was his work phone, not his personal one and he kept his tone professional as spoke to the person on the other end. From what he was saying Sam knew he was talking to someone down at the police station. When Dean hung up he sat back up straight with a grim look on his face. “The first girl showed up dead. Floating in the Wabash River down in Lafayette. They found her body this morning.” “I think we need to get moving on this and find the other girls, now.” Sam said as he pushed the salad he’d been picking at aside and got up. “I’m going to go and rent another room, for Charlie and I. Then I’m going to get dressed. Charlie and I will drive to Lafayette and talk to the police there, check out the bodies. You guys check out that minister and the Lutheran church. At lease Cas has the upper hand as an angel if things get sticky.” Dean sighed. He’d prefer to just go busting into the warehouse with Sam and leave Charlie and Cas back here, but that wasn’t logical. If anyone had the upper hand here it was Cas, despite the fact that his grace was not his own. He was still an angel. It bothered Dean a lot that Sam felt he had to go and rent a second room. What did he think Cas and him were going to do? Then he realized what his brother expected of him. He’d always been a bit of a man whore and Sam expected him to be sex crazed after having avoided bedding anyone since becoming human again. That bothered him. What kind of impression had he been making on his little brother all these years? “Fine. Charlie, did you bring any clothes that you can pass off looking like FBI in?” Dean asked her. Her face lit up at the question. “Of course! I even brought my sensible shoes.” She winked at him and he laughed. “I’ll be back in a few.” Sam left and Dean got up to get his suit. “Where’s yours?” He asked Cas. Cas motioned toward a pile of clothes on the floor almost under Sam’s bed. “I hope you can angelically iron out the wrinkles in that.” Dean said with a laugh. He took his suit and went into the bathroom leaving Charlie alone with Cas. “I’ve never met an angel before. This is pretty cool.” She said ignoring the computer to turn her full attention to him. He gave her a smile, unsure how to respond to that. “So, are you like a million years old?” She asked. “By angel standards I am young. I am several thousand years old.” He replied. Her eyes widened. “Really? So, like you’ve seen all sorts of stuff, right? Did you meet Jesus?” He chuckled and it was a low rumble in his chest. “No, I did not get the privilege, though I did meet Cain and Abel, Abraham, Moses, and several other figures from biblical times.” She shook her head, absolutely amazed. “Are all the angels as cool as you?” Cas’ smile faded. “I am not sure how it is that I am cool. If you are referring to their tolerance and acceptance of humans, then no. I am rare in my affections toward them.” There was pain in his words and she didn’t like seeing him upset. “We’re not so bad. At least you like us.” She said. He smiled again. “I see their potential, their love and their ability for goodness. I see them as exactly the creatures our Father wanted them to be.” He explained. “I like that.” She said, smiling. After a few minutes Dean came out of the bathroom. He was combing his hair. Charlie let out a whistle. “You look hot in a suit Dean.” He smiled, one eyebrow raised and tucked the comb in his pocket. “I look hot in everything.” He gave her a wink and she laughed. Cas was looking at him and it made Dean’s cheeks flush with color. No one ever looked at him like that except Cas. “From the look on his face I’d say he agrees.” Charlie pointed to Cas and laughed. “Yes, I do agree.” Cas said. The smile that lit up his face was so pure and genuine that Dean couldn’t help but smile back. “Thanks.” He said, still slightly uncomfortable with the compliment. “Go get dressed dude, we have to go check that warehouse out and nose around at the church.” He nodded his head toward the bathroom. Cas stood up and gathered his suit off the floor. As he passed Dean he stopped. Before Dean could react he leaned forward and gave him a quick kiss on the cheek. “Just don’t do that in front of witnesses.” Dean said, his blush growing deeper. “I won’t.” Cas promised and continued on to the bathroom. Dean narrowed his eyes at Charlie when he saw the dopey grin on her face as she watched them. “Shut up.” He said affectionately. “You guys are adorable!” She said almost squealing. He rolled his eyes. “We are not adorable.” He grumbled. “So…have you had your first kiss yet?” She asked. She failed miserably at looking innocent and he had to look away as his face flushed red yet again. Damn that! “Uh, yeah.” He said, his voice going deeper as he tried to keep it steady. She nodded. “I’d wage you’ve done more than kiss by how red your face got.” He looked up sharply. “Hey, we are not talking about any of that, understand? And don’t mention that to Sam!” He kept his voice low so Cas wouldn’t hear in the other room. Charlie motioned as though she was zipping her lips shut. “I would never. I just want you to be happy Dean. You deserve to be happy.” Her words were sincere, she really did want him to be happy. “I’m happy.” He said quickly as the bathroom door opened and Cas came back into the room. “I’ll never be able to figure this thing out.” He complained as he fiddled with his tie. Dean was up off the bed and standing in front of Cas before the angel could react. He adjusted the tie and folded the collar of his shirt down over it. Cas caught his hand as he went to move it away. “Cas…” He said softly. “I will be professional. You don’t have to worry about me.” Cas told him. He let Dean’s hand go and buttoned his jacket. “Here, comb your hair again.” Dean pulled the comb from his pocket and handed it to him. “Right.” Cas disappeared back into the bathroom as Sam came back into the room. “I tried to get the room right next door but it would appear that the room is rented for the night to one Fergus Crowley, so we’ll be two doors down if you need us.” Sam said as he gathered his computer and bag. “Crowley’s in the next room?” Dean asked, completely dumbfounded. “It would appear so. I jimmied the lock and went in but he wasn’t there. I don’t know what his game is but I seriously doubt he’s actually sleeping in there.” Sam said. Dean gave an annoyed grunt. Charlie set her laptop on the desk but took the tablet as she followed Sam. “You have your FBI badge or do we need to get you a new one?” Dean asked her. “I have it.” She assured him. “Sammy, when you’re done at the morgue meet us at the warehouse, but drop Charlie off here first.” Dean said. Charlie poked him in the chest. “Oh no you don’t, you’re not going to treat me like a girl! I’ll be right there with Sam, you hear me?” The tone of her voice was challenging and while Dean loved a good argument, this was not the time. Another of these girls could end up dead before they even got to the warehouse. His eyes narrowed and his nostrils flared as he tried to resist arguing with her against coming with. Damn if she didn’t remind him of a younger, even more stubborn version of himself. Sam grabbed Charlie by the arm and pulled her out of the room. “I’ll keep an eye on her Dean. You just keep an eye on Cas.” He said and closed the door. Cas stepped back into the bathroom looking neat and very much like the FBI agent he was pretending to be. “Ready?” Dean asked him. “Yes.” Cas replied. Dean smiled. “Then lets boogy.”


	8. Things Are Not Always As They Seem

It was no surprise that when they arrived at the church the minister, one Kyle Pruitt, was not there. A secretary by the name of Allison explained that every afternoon the minister went home for lunch and often didn’t return for several hours. Dean checked his watch. It was nearly four pm. “He always eat lunch this late?” He asked the woman. She was a tiny thing, barely five feet tall and dressed in a long white dress and maroon sweater. She had a friendly open face and he had glanced several times at both of her wrists to be sure she wasn’t part of the Eris worshipping club, but he couldn’t get a good look, not with that sweater. “Once in a while he will just go home for the day. He might have done that today.” She replied. He looked at Cas and motioned toward her hands which she used a lot as she talked. Cas nodded, knowing what Dean wanted him to look for. Dean held a hand out to her and Allison shook it. “I want to thank you for your time and cooperation.” Dean told her. As she took his hand her sleeve slid up enough that they could both see that there were no tattoos on her right wrist. The minister’s tattoo was on his left though, and so were the other ones that they had noticed. “Allison, could you direct me to Lafayette? I don’t know my way from here.” Cas said suddenly and Dean looked at him, his brow furrowed trying to determine why he had asked the question. “Oh sure. You’re going to want to take this street here…” She pointed toward the street with her left hand and her sleeve slid up. No tattoo. Dean smirked when he realized the reason behind the question. Pretty sly thinking actually. He wished he’d thought of it. Cas smiled when she finished giving him the directions. “Thank you very much.” She smiled back. “Well you are quite welcome. Can I help you agents with anything else?” She looked from Cas to Dean expectantly. “No, you have been very helpful. Have a nice evening.” Dean said and Allison excused herself. Dean and Cas turned to leave. “That was smooth asking her the directions.” He said. “I noticed that she uses her hands a lot. I assumed she would do that if she were asked directions as well.” Cas explained. “She’s clean. So who else would be part of this?” Dean asked as they stepped out into the still too hot afternoon sun. “I think the other church leaders should be considered.” Cas said. “Some ninth level of hell shit if the church leaders in this town are all in a cult worshipping this Eris bitch.” Dean muttered. Cas frowned, his brow creasing trying to understand what Dean meant. “Is that in reference to Dante’s Inferno?” He asked. Dean sighed. “Yeah, sure.” He clapped Cas on the back as they reached the Impala. “Ready to check out that factory now?” He asked. “Shouldn’t we wait for Sam and Charlie?” Cas asked in return. Dean pulled his phone out and saw a text from Sam. “Hey Cas, what would be the typical ritual for sacrificing a virgin in ancient times?” He asked, lifting his eyes from the phone to look at Cas. “In this case, if they’re trying to raise Eris I would think they would drain the victim of her blood while she is still alive and remove the body part necessary for the ritual.” Cas replied. Dean paled visibly. “Like the heart?” Cas realized what was in Sam’s text. “Exactly like the heart.” Dean rubbed at his jaw as he looked back toward the factory. “They found the body drained completely of blood and the heart missing.” He finally said. Cas stood silent watching him. Dean turned his attention back to his phone, punching out a quick text back to his brother. He pressed send and shoved the phone back in his pocket. “I think we’ll just wait for them to get here.” 

 

It was another forty minutes before Sam and Charlie pulled up and parked across the street. Cas noted that the sedan had been cleaned, the dust was all gone. Dean stepped out of the Impala when Sam got out and walked over to him. “So that’s it then?” Sam asked, nodding toward the abandoned factory beyond the church. Dean nodded. “Yeah, and Cas has a theory that worries me. He thinks the other church leaders could also be members of this cult.” Sam frowned. “That would be the craziest thing I’ve ever heard if it’s true. Isn’t this area like crazy Christian?” He asked. “The sheer number of churches says yes, but I’m beginning to think that things are not always as they seem.” Dean replied. Cas and Charlie had joined them and were listening quietly. Dean looked back at Cas and saw that he was staring back at the factory with a fierce intensity that it wasn’t until Dean touched his shoulder that he realized that his name had been said several times. “What’s going on Cas?” Dean asked. “I’m not sure. There’s something going on in there, I can feel it.” He lifted his eyes to the sky. “I feel something else too.” The others all lifted their eyes too, scanning the sky. “Is it angels?” Sam asked. “No, it’s something else.” Cas replied, but didn’t elaborate further. Dean had dropped his hand to his side again. “Vague answers aren’t helping us Cas.” He said, annoyed. Cas turned his blue eyes on him. “I don’t know what it is, I’m sorry.” Dean gave a tight smile. “It’s alright, I’m sure it will reveal itself eventually. Things always have a way of doing that.” He said. Cas’ attention was back on the factory, his eyes narrowing. “What do we arm ourselves with?” Sam asked as they crossed the street to the Impala. Dean scanned the streets looking for people that might be showing interest in four Federal agents hovering around the trunk of the car but the streets were empty. He popped the trunk and lifted the hidden panel. They stood looking at the weapons, not sure what would actually work. Cas made the decision easy when he reached in and pulled out a dagger. “Where did you get this?” He asked, turning the blade over to read the words that were carved into the metal of the blade itself. Dean took it from him and looked at it. “I don’t think I’ve seen this before. Sammy, is this yours?” He handed it to his brother who ran his finger over the engraved handle and the words on the blade itself. “I’ve never seen this before in my life guys.” He handed the blade back to Cas. “Knives don’t just randomly show up in the trunk of my car.” Dean said, complaining. “That’s because I put it there.” A familiar and unwanted voice said casually from the front of the car. Dean leaned around the trunk to see Crowley standing there, legs crossed, one arm leaning against the hood of the Impala. He let out a sound similar to a growl and lunged but Sam and Cas both caught him and pulled him back. “Not out on the street Dean.” Sam said softly. “Look, I did you a favor there by popping that little trinket in your boot. You should be thanking me.” Crowley said with a smug smile. Dean just wanted to ram him through with a blade. It didn’t have to be the First Blade. Any blade would do. “He’s right, this dagger has a spell engraved on it. This is written by Zeus himself.” Cas still had his arm on Dean, trying to redirect his attention back to the dagger in his hand. The vein throbbing in Dean’s temple finally disappeared and he looked down at the small knife. “So what am I supposed to do with this?” Dean asked, still thoroughly annoyed. Crowley pointed toward the warehouse. “You have a congregation in there of about seventy people right this minute, and more are arriving shortly. Tonight is special night. The moon aligns with the star Zeus supposedly placed in the sky to honor Eris and this is the night when the second girl will die. If you don’t stop this now another will die each night. On the seventh night the seal on the urn will be broken and Eris will be set free. I hear she’s a diva with a nasty temper and a terrible jealous streak. You might want to take care of your triple sorority girls before they take care of you. They may or may not have been tipped off that the great Winchester brothers are in town.” “And I wonder who told them that.” Dean snapped. “Oh it wasn’t me sweetheart, what good would it serve me for them to get the best of you? I think someone recognized you when you were sniffing around earlier.” Crowley’s attention was drawn to Charlie. “Well hello darling. Who is this beauty?” He said lasciviously. Charlie looked at the short man with one eyebrow raised. “You’re barking up the wrong tree there pal. You’re not her type, if you get my drift.” Dean said with a low chuckle. Crowley looked disappointed. “Is everyone associated with the Winchesters batting for their own team?” Crowley complained. “I’m not.” Sam said, raising his hand. Dean elbowed him and he lowered it. Crowley sighed deeply. “Just get in there, take out the witches, save the girls, it’s what you heathens do best.” And then he was gone. Charlie jumped when he disappeared. “Who was that guy?” She asked. “Crowley. He’s the King of Hell.” Cas replied matter-of-factly. “Coming from anyone else I might take that as a joke, but I get the feeling that you’re being dead serious.” She said to the angel. “Cas doesn’t exactly know how to joke around.” Sam said. “I can make jokes. I think I’m pretty funny.” Cas complained and looked to Dean for moral support. “Don’t drag me into this.” Dean said and reached up to close the trunk. “So now what? There are only 4 of us against three Goddesses, a hundred humans, and we only have one small dagger.” Sam said. Dean looked down at the knife in his hand. “I haven’t thought that far ahead.” He said. He was still trying to formulate a plan. Monsters were bad enough, but Gods and Goddesses? Dean felt impotent standing there with the dagger, until a thought came to him. “I have an idea.” He announced.


	9. Happiness Escapes You Dean Winchester

“So what is this grand plan of yours?” Sam asked. “We lack power, right? Because there are so few of us, but what we don’t lack is strength. Cas here could take out all three of those witch bitches with his eyes closed. I say we work to distract the crowd and he drives this baby home.” Dean replied holding up the dagger to mimic driving it into one of The Furies. He was grinning almost like a mad man, hoping at least his brother would agree that the idea had merit. “Dean, we can’t ask Cas to do that. If they injure him, his grace won’t be able to hold out. We didn’t tell you but Cas nearly died on the way out to the bunker. The grace he had then, it was fading bit by bit and he was nearly dead when Crowley found him and Hannah being attacked. Crowley stole the grace from the angel attacking them and stuck it inside Cas. Sure, Cas looks good now, but this grace is fading too. He’s going to die, and if you make him do this and he gets hurt, he may not recover from it.” Sam ignored the glare Cas was giving him. Dean’s smile had faded and he turned to look at Cas. “Is that true? Are you dying Cas?” He asked. Cas shifted his weight and shrugged. “I don’t honestly know what will happen to me once it runs out, though I highly suspect that I will die.” His voice was soft, as though it pained him to speak those dreaded words. “Why didn’t you say something sooner?” Dean asked, the raw pain in his voice unmasked. “You had this mission. I did not want to burden you.” Cas replied lamely. “What kind of crap is that? You don’t want to burden me? Cas, you drove across 2 states to come tell me that you love me and you stayed here on earth for me, and now you’re telling me that you’re going die? So what, loving you in return is pointless? Is that what you’re saying? If I mean so damn much to you why didn’t you tell me this sooner?” There was anger and hurt in Dean’s voice but the pain reflecting in his eyes as they brimmed with tears was more than Cas could bear. “There is still a piece of my true grace left. The mission is to get to heaven and retrieve it. I will get it back Dean, for you. I don’t want to leave you, ever.” Cas spoke softly, his eyes pleading with Dean not to worry. Frustrated beyond words Dean grabbed the smaller man and locked him in a fierce bear hug, not caring who saw. He squeezed until Cas started to have trouble breathing. Cas managed to lift one arm just enough to tap Dean on the arm. When Dean finally pulled away Cas gasped. “Hey, we’re going to help with that.” Charlie said as she touched Dean’s arm. He nodded, his voice not working to let him express how truly scared he really was. He tightened his grip on the dagger. “I’ll take care of these Goddesses myself.” He turned and started marching toward the warehouse. Cas caught up to him first. “Dean, you can’t just go in there and confront them, they’ll kill you.” Dean shrugged his hand off when he touched his arm. “Not really caring right now.” Dean grunted, not slowing down. Sam came up on his left easily keeping stride with his longer legs. “Dean, calm down, we need to come up with a plan before we go in there, you know that.” Dean refused to look up at his brother. If he did he would see pity there, and that was the last thing he wanted to see. Sam grabbed his arm forcing him to stop. “Dean, stop being so damn stubborn!” He snapped. Dean did stop, glaring up at his little brother. “Sammy, I need to kill something, and I need to kill it now.” His voice was low and Sam heard the warning in it but chose to ignore it. “I get it, this is something you feel in control of, but we’re here for you man, and we’re going to do everything we can to get Cas’ grace back. I don’t want to lose him either, but I sure as hell don’t want to lose my brother again. Not when I just got you back.” His words struck Dean in such a way that it felt as though something inside him was breaking. He had always had to be the one in control, the one managing every situation. It had served him well throughout his life in keeping himself and his brother alive, though even that had failed at times. They’d been through so much, done so much, and he was tired. Sam must have seen something in his eyes because his face softened. “I don’t know how much more of this I can take.” Dean’s voice was barely above a whisper but the pain in it was raw and he couldn’t mask it. Sam nodded. He knew exactly what his brother meant. “These girls need us though. We need to focus on helping them right now.” Dean took a deep breath that rattled when he exhaled. Cas moved around him to stand at Sam’s side. There was fear in his eyes, something he rarely ever saw. “Dean, don’t you dare die.” He said. Dean wanted to hug Cas to him, wrap him in his arms and protect him. For so many years Cas had done everything in his power to keep him and Sam safe, even at the expense of his own life, and now it was Cas that needed protection. It felt like history repeating itself yet again. He finally was reaching a place where he felt like he was actually going to be happy, that he was going to be with the one person he loved most in this world, save for his brother, and that things would be ok. The weight of knowing that Cas was dying tore at that little bit of security he had dared to start building up since Cas had told him that he had stayed behind on earth for him. Stayed, even though it meant his own death. “We’ll find a way to save him. I swear we will.” Sam promised. He nodded both at Dean and at Cas. “Thank you, that means a lot to me.” Cas told Sam. Dean wiped at his eyes feeling weak for letting his emotions get the best of him here in public, and in front of the people that always thought him to be strong. “Crowley!” Dean yelled. “What are you calling him for?” Sam asked. “Crowley!” Dean yelled a second time, even louder. “What do you want?” Crowley said from behind them. He was looking at his fingernails, sounding bored. “I want you to go find us the least noticeable way in there. I want to sneak up on these bitches when they’re not looking.” Dean said. Crowley looked up sharply. “You want me to go in there? Why not just send your angel loverboy?” He sounded annoyed. Dean took a step toward him but Sam held him back. “This benefits you too asshole. If you want me to go in there and kill the triple psychos then you need to do your part. Get your evil ass in there and scope the place out.” Dean ordered. Crowley rolled his eyes and let out and exaggerated sigh. “Alright, fine!” And with that he was gone again. “I don’t like that he does that.” Charlie said, clearly unnerved. “It was worse when Cas did it.” Sam told her. Charlie looked at Cas. “You did that too? The whole there one second, gone the next?” Cas nodded. “I couldn’t stay long, I had other places to be.” “He was fighting a war in heaven.” Dean explained. Charlie nodded. “You deal with a lot of crazy stuff guys. Makes computer programming seem like a cakewalk.” Dean shook his head. “How long do you think-“ Charlie didn’t get to finish the question before Crowley was back. “So they’re in the main room but there is an open door at ground level that leads right up. The Furies have an altar dedicated to them at the back of the main floor. They have the blonde girl up on it. The short one with the butterfly tattoo on her ankle.” He told them. “East or West side?” Sam asked. “South actually.” Crowley replied. Dean was already walking toward the factory. “I’d keep an eye on him, he’s not right in the head right now.” Crowley nodded toward Dean. Cas gave him a dirty look before running up to match pace with Dean. Charlie and Sam caught up a few seconds later. 

The door was on the South side as Crowley had said and Dean approached it slowly, listening. The alley in which it faced was dead quiet. “You, stay watch here.” He told Charlie. He reached into his inner pocket and pulled out a large blade. “Take this.” He pressed it into her hand, forcing her to wrap her hand around it. “Stay here.” His words were fierce and she nodded. “Of course.” Cas went to the door and opened it slowly. He stepped back so Dean and Sam could enter before following them inside. The hall was narrow and dark with one flight leading up to the main floor and one leading down to the basement. “I’ll check the basement.” Cas whispered. Dean nodded and started up the stairs with Sam and rounded the corner at the top. They were on a small landing with another staircase leading to a second floor and a door with a small window leading out onto the main floor. Dean had to stand on his toes just to see out the window so he motioned for Sam to look. “It looks like a church meeting. There are chairs and people are facing the back. Has to be close to a hundred people. I see the girls from the pictures, they’re speaking to the crowd. I can’t hear what they’re saying from here though.” A hand on Dean’s shoulder made him jump and he spun around to find himself facing Cas. “Dude, I almost stabbed you!” Dean hissed. “I’m sorry. I couldn’t tell you I was coming up. The basement appears to be empty.” Cas whispered. Sam grabbed his brother’s shoulder. “Someone’s coming!” Dean grabbed Cas and flattened him against the wall on one side of the door as Sam did the same on the other side. The door opened and to Dean’s surprise one of The Furies came onto the landing. Dean raised the dagger the moment he saw her and swung but she saw him at the last second and spun out of the way. As Sam swung his own blade, useless as it was, she lifted a hand and without even touching him sent him flying. “Ah, the mighty Winchesters. I heard about you.” She spat at Dean as he regained his footing and came at her a second time. She hit him hard across the face and he felt the crack as his jaw broke. He slammed into his brother just as Sam was getting to his feet. She spun on Cas who had picked up the dagger Dean had dropped. “I know who they are, but who are you?” Her eyes narrowed as she took a defensive stance, facing off against him. “Cas, no.” Dean’s words were garbled as he strained to speak through his damaged mouth. He was clutching the side of his face and when Cas looked at him he could see the fear in Dean’s eyes. He brought his attention back to The Fury standing before him. “I am an angel of the Lord. I am Castiel.” Cas said calmly. “Pity your father abandoned you and your pathetic humans.” She sneered. Cas knew better than to take his eyes off her. She took a quick step to the right, aiming to rush at him from the side without the dagger but he anticipated that and switched the dagger to his free hand, thrusting it as she slammed into him. As the blade pierced her sternum she let out a gasp0. Dean and Sam both had to cover their eyes as she burst into flames, collapsing into nothing more than a pile of ashes at Cas’ feet. Cas stood with the dagger looking down at the ashes until he heard Dean groaning at the other end of the landing. “Dean!” He hurried the hunter’s side seeing the damage the Goddess had done when she’d struck him. “No.” Dean tried to push Cas’ hand away as he placed a hand against the side of his face. “Let me heal you.” Cas spoke forcefully and before Dean could tell him no a second time he felt the energy begin to flow through him, and the pain was almost immediately gone. Dean grabbed his hand and for a moment Cas thought he was angry but there were tears in Dean’s eyes. “Don’t do that! Don’t waste your grace on me, do you understand?” Cas stared back and for the first time Dean saw defiance in his eyes. “It’s not wasting if it’s for you.” “Damn you.” Dean whispered but there was no anger in his words. Cas looked at Sam. “Are you alright?” He asked. Sam nodded. “It’s just bruises. Not like I haven’t had a million of those before.” Cas lowered his hand from Dean’s face and offered him back the dagger.” “Can they still perform the ritual to free Eris if there are only two of them left?” Sam asked. Cas shrugged. “I don’t know for sure. There is power in the number three, so it might take more effort to finish it.” He theorized. Dean walked over to the pile of ashes on the floor. Something in it caught his attention. He crouched and with one finger moved some of the ash aside until he found what had caught his attention. “What is it?” Sam asked, leaning over him to get a look. “It’s that purity ring all those girls were wearing.” Dean replied as he picked the ring up. He turned it around in his fingers trying to read the inscription on it but it wasn’t in English. “Cas, can you read this?” He asked, holding the ring out. Cas took it and studied it for a moment. The expression on his face told both Sam and Dean that he knew exactly what it said. “It’s an entrapment spell. It binds the Goddesses to the person that made this ring. The spell is written in Latin.” “Does that mean something? That it wasn’t written in Greek?” Dean asked. Cas’ brow was furrowed as he considered what the meaning behind the change in writing meant. “My guess is that whoever cast the spell in the first place is not fluent in ancient Greek, but they knew Latin.” Sam said, voicing what Cas had been thinking. “And why is that important?” Dean pressed. “Because I don’t think just an ordinary human called The Furies. I think it was someone else.” Cas said. Both Sam and Dean turned to look at him with an unnerving intensity. “Please don’t say more Gods.” Dean pleaded. “I don’t sense any other Gods nearby.” Again with Cas’ literal answers. It was normal now though and they ignored it. “Is it demons?” Sam asked. Cas didn’t know how to answer that. He’d been loath to admit that many of his senses had started to grow dull as the grace inside him began to dim. He didn’t sense any demons, though that didn’t mean there weren’t any around. Dean stood up, dusting his hands off and waiting for an answer from him. Cas looked down at the ring again and realized that there was a second engraving on the inside of the ring. “I know exactly who made this.” He announced suddenly. When his eyes met Dean’s again there was excitement in them. “Come on then, the suspense is killing me!” Dean said. Instead of answering him Cas went to the window in the door and stood up on the tips of his toes to peek out. Why the doors had been designed with such high windows was beyond him but as he scanned the crowd he caught sight of the person he’d been looking for. “Come on Cas, who is it man?” Sam pressed. Cas pointed across the room to a man in a black suit. “He’s a warlock. He did it.” Sam felt his stomach do a flip. “Uh, Dean, you’re never going to believe who’s sitting out there right now.” Dean walked over and they moved aside so he could look out of the window. “Son of a bitch, is that Don Stark?” “Where Don is you can bet Maggie is too.” Sam said peering over his brother’s head, looking for signs of the she-bitch. “I don’t see her.” Dean said. He turned to look at Cas. “Is that what you meant earlier when you said you felt like it was someone different? Not Crowley?” He asked. Cas nodded. “I hate witches.” Dean muttered. “You’re not the only one.” Sam agreed. “So that’s how they knew we were here. Crowley didn’t rat us out after all.” Sam suddenly realized. “I still don’t trust the little rat.” Dean growled. All pretenses of whispering had been tossed out the window several minutes ago. The blonde from the pictures was glancing toward the door. Dean ducked down before she saw him, or at least he hoped she hadn’t seen him. “Dude, another one is coming.” Sam whispered and again they found themselves flattening against the walls, trying to not be obvious. The door started to open and Dean tensed with the dagger raised, ready to stab whoever came through. “Megaera? What’s taking you so long?” A woman’s voice called out. She wasn’t completely opening the door so as yet she had not noticed Dean. She pushed the door open a little more, stepping onto the landing and then she did see him. She raised her hands defensively and for a moment Dean hesitated. He had expected an immediate attack, not for a Goddess to show fear. “No! Please! She cried. She saw the ashes on the floor and made a mewling noise as she fell to the floor beside them. “Megaera!” She sobbed. She looked up at Dean with a mixture of anger and pain. “This is not our doing Winchester! We are not in control here! Why did you kill her?” “She attacked me, broke my jaw, tried to kill my brother and me.” He replied, confused by this one’s reaction upon seeing her sister dead. She stood up again. “You speak quite well for someone with a broken jaw.” She spat at him. Dean looked to Cas and then she noticed him as well. “An angel, I should have known.” She scoffed. “Alecto I presume.” Cas said. Her head raised ever so slightly at the sound of her name. She was beautiful in a dark way. Blonde hair piled up on her head in big bouncy curls, bronze skin, dark brown eyes. She looked more like an angel than Cas did, but there was a darkness in her that even Sam and Dean could see. “How on earth did Zeus produce such bitches for daughters?” Dean asked. Cas shot him a warning look but it was too late. Alecto turned on him shooting one hand out and catching Dean hard in the ribs. He felt them snap as he flew backwards for the second time. He hit the floor and slammed into the far wall. Alecto was already heading straight at Cas, and he was backing up into the corner trying to get away from her. He turned toward the stairs meaning to race down them and out the door but she caught him by the front of his jacket and lifted him in the air as though he weighed nothing. “You cannot stop us, he will not let it happen!” She hissed in his face before lifted him over her head and throwing him down the stairs. “Cas!” Dean wheezed, unable to scream through the pressure from his broken ribs. Sam had the dagger (Dean did not remember dropping it yet again) and he rushed at the Goddess before she had recovered from having thrown Cas, striking her in the side and slamming her into the far wall. He pressed up with the dagger, tearing through the fabric of her dress and slicing into the flesh between her ribs, driving it home, straight into her heart. She gasped in surprise before following the way of her sister before her and turning into a pile of ash on the floor. Sam lost his footing and fell face first. “Cas!” Dean was struggling to get to his feet, one hand clutching the railing while the other pressed against his broken ribs. “Dean, stay there, I’ll check on him.” Sam told him before hurrying down the stairs. Charlie had heard the commotion and opened the door to find Cas lying crumpled on his back at the foot of the stairs, one leg bent at an unnatural angle beneath him. “Oh my God Cas!” She gasped, kneeling beside him. Sam was there a moment later kneeling on the other side. “You ok man?” He asked worriedly. Cas looked up at him and in that moment Sam knew he was not alright. “Is Dean…hurt?” He managed to ask and coughed, dark red blood darkening his lips. “Dean will live. Come on Cas, heal yourself.” Sam pleaded. Cas closed his eyes and willed his grace to heal him. It wasn’t working. “I can’t Sam.” His voice was barely above a whisper. “Cas? Cas?” Dean was staggering down the stairs toward them. “No, no!” Dean collapsed to his knees next to Charlie, nearly falling over onto Cas before she caught him. Dean was using his free hand to grasp at the front of Cas’ jacket. “Heal yourself damn it!” He was begging. A tear slipped down Cas’ cheek as he shook his head. “I can’t Dean, my grace…” “Don’t you say that! Don’t you dare give up!” Dean’s vision began to blur as his own tears rose up and spilled down his cheeks. Cas brought a hand up, placing it over Dean’s, even dying his touch was calming to Dean. He collapsed against Charlie, the pain becoming too much, but it wasn’t from his ribs, it was from his heart breaking. Cas’ hand grew slack as the energy it took to hold it there began to drain away. “Dean…I love you. I’ve always loved you.” His voice was barely above a whisper now and Dean had to lean down to hear him. “No Cas, please, I can’t lose you, not again, not forever.” On the landing above there was the sound of voices as the door to the main floor landing opened and people came through. All that commotion Sam was surprised they hadn’t come earlier. “There!” A woman yelled. Sam and Dean both looked up to see Don Stark standing at the top of the stairs looking down at them with a smug and satisfied look on his face. There were people they recognized from the photographs standing behind him along with the last Fury. Dean could not fathom what they had ever done to Don or Maggie that would make him want to bring an evil Goddess out of her prison and give her reign on earth, and then something began to dawn on him. “Sam, he wasn’t raising Eris so she could take over hell, he’s raising her so he could take over!” He hissed at his brother. Don was walking down the stairs casually, that self-righteous smile never leaving his lips. “Sam and Dean Winchester, so nice to see you boys again!” He said when he reached where they stood. The last remaining Goddess stood at the stop of the stairs glaring down at them. “Why would you do this?” Sam asked, not wanting Don to know that they were on to him.” Don looked genuinely surprised by the question. “Why not?” He asked back. Dean made like he was going to lunge at the Warlock but Charlie caught him by the arm and pulled him back. “Dean, no.” She said softly. “I’m going to kill you.” There was murder in Dean’s voice, so raw and full of rage that Don was momentarily taken aback. “It’s nothing personal boys, I just needed a decoy and you did exactly as I expected you would.” He looked down at Cas who was barely hanging on to life, looking up at him with those pale blue eyes and felt no remorse whatsoever. He turned as though to head back up the stairs when Cas, with the last bit of strength he had grabbed Don’s ankle. “What are you doing?” Don asked, alarmed as his entire body began to tingle. He managed to jerk backwards, forcing the dying angel to release him. He started back up the stairs only to find himself standing face to face with the last remaining Fury Goddess. There was murder in her eyes as well, though it was solely directed toward Don Stark. “What are you doing Tisiphone?” He asked nervously. “My sisters died because of you. No one else is going to die here.” She snarled and he backed up a few steps. “You are under my bidding! Stand down!” He shouted, though there was a hint of uncertainty in his voice. She was advancing on him and he was stuck backing up down the stairs again toward where Dean and Sam were now standing. He spun around, a hand shooting out and Dean suddenly felt as though his lungs were being clamped in a vice and he doubled over. “Dean!” Sam caught him before he fell and just as suddenly, the grip on his lungs was gone. He tried to gasp but his ribs wouldn’t let him. Sam looked up to see Don staring down at him, noting the look of surprise on the man’s face, and the hand that seemed to be protruding through his chest. As they watched, Tisiphone tore Don Stark’s heart from his chest. His body slid to the floor, landing face down near Cas’ feet. Dean was vaguely aware of the sound of people running and screaming and of his brother pushing him out of the way. The last remaining Goddess was coming down the steps and Sam put himself between her and Dean who was once more on his knees at Cas’ side. Charlie had backed up but was still kneeling next to Dean with one hand on Cas’ shoulder. Tisiphone stopped when she reached the bottom of the stairs though, the murderous look on her face fading away to be replaced by one of pain and misery. “You killed my sisters.” There was so much raw emotion in her voice that Sam was taken aback. “We didn’t know.” He said, lamely. She nodded. “Humans never do.” She looked down at the angel on the floor. “He’s dying.” She said matter-of-factly. “Yes, he is.” Sam confirmed. “Angels can die?” She asked, turning her dark eyes on Sam again. He didn’t want to admit what could or could not kill an angel so he simply replied softly “This one can.” She appeared to consider his words for a moment before nodding. “Death is inevitable.” Sam was unsure how to respond to that. She was holding her hand out to him and he saw that she had the dagger. He realized that he must have dropped it on the landing above. It lay across the palm of her hand and when he didn’t immediately take it she reached out, lifting his hand and pressing the handle of the blade into it, urging him to take hold of it. Her fingers were cool to the touch, sending little shocks of energy through him. “I wish to join my sisters but I cannot do it myself.” She said. He realized what she was asking of him. “Take the urn and hide it away. We were not the only ones that could open it.” She warned him. “Where are the other girls?” He asked. She nodded toward the basement. “There’s a subbasement. That’s why this place was chosen. It’s behind the shelves at the back.” She replied. “Where’s Maggie Stark?” Dean managed to ask. “Don killed her. She tried to overthrow him, to thwart his plans, and so he murdered her.” She smiled sadly. “We got a bad name long ago for things that were not done by our own volition. It was demanded of us to spread pain and misery. Our father has a twisted sense of superiority over humans. I never wanted to bring chaos, misery, death to anyone.” She nodded at Sam. She was ready. He didn’t hesitate. He thrust the blade into her chest looking away as he did so. There was one last gasp and she was no more, just a pile of ashes falling to the floor. “Sam.” Charlie said, her voice barely above a whisper. He turned to see his brother bent completely over as sobs racked his body. “Cas, no, please don’t go, please don’t die.” Dean was chanting the words, trying by sheer force of will to make Cas live, It was futile though as Cas now lay limp, his blue eyes now staring off into the distance, seeing nothing anymore. “Dean.” Sam said softly. He touched his brother’s shoulder, intending to try to get him to his feet but Dean pushed him away. “Don’t touch me.” Dean gasped. Sam looked to Charlie seeing her face blur through his own tears. Cas had been his friend too, and he felt the crushing weight of knowing that they had lost yet another friend, another member of their ever shrinking family. “Oh God…” His voice came out ragged and he wiped furiously at his eyes. “I’ll go see if the urn is still up there.” Charlie said, getting to her feet and hurrying up the stairs. Sam moved around Cas’ body to kneel opposite Dean. “We have to take him home.” Dean managed to say. “Of course man.” Sam told him. Charlie appeared at the top of the steps a moment later, her arm wrapped around the shoulder of the girl that had been tied to the sacrificial table. “It’s gone.” She said. That was the least of their problems right now. What was important was helping his brother survive this, and that was all Sam wanted, all he needed at this moment.


	10. Revelations: A Life Worth Living

He was alone again. This time he knew it would be forever. He couldn’t let another person into his life, it was just too painful. As he sat on the sofa in the media room with his unopened bottle of beer he thought about Cas. Beautiful, selfless Cas, always putting him and Sam first, even with his last dying breath doing what he could to protect those he loved. A tear escaped, sliding down his cheek, landing with a plop on the leg of his jeans. After a trip to the emergency room to make sure his ribs were the only thing that were broken they had made their way back here to the bunker with Cas’ body. The door to the bunker opened and Sam came in. He looked at Dean for a moment, noticing the unopened bottle of beer in his hand. Dean didn’t bother looking up at him. He was busy staring straight ahead at nothing but Sam could see the misery etched on his face. “Hey.” Sam said softly. Dean did not respond. “I got the funeral pyre ready.” He added. Still no response. “We’ll get this done and then I’ll join you for a beer.” Finally a reaction from Dean. He got up, climbed the steps and handed his brother his bottle. “I’m done drinking. It’s gotten me nowhere.” He brushed past Sam and went outside. Charlie appeared in the library doorway. “Is it time?” She asked softly. Sam nodded as he set the bottle down on the floor. They slipped silently outside and found Dean standing next to the pyre, one hand resting on Cas’ shrouded body. His head was bowed and his eyes were closed. When Sam stepped up next to him he could hear his brother’s words and it tore at him. “Please God, if you’re still there, please let him return to Heaven. Do not let him cease to exist. If everything I’ve done in your name has ever meant a damn thing, then do this one thing for me. I know I can’t have him back, but please, let him continue on so that one day I might see him again. I can’t go on with this life knowing I’ll never get to see him again. I wish I’d realized it sooner how much I loved him, but please don’t take him away from me forever.” Sam stood on one side of Dean, putting a hand on his older brother’s shoulder and squeezing gently. Charlie slid up on his other side and wove her fingers through those of his free hand, squeezing gently. With a heavy sigh Dean pulled his lighter from his pocket and lit the pyre. They backed up to the edge of the drive and turned to watch it burn, no one speaking.

When it was completely burned down Dean insisted on burying Cas’ remains himself and Sam didn’t argue. He waited inside with the beer Dean had abandoned, nursing it as he let his mind roll over all the memories they’d made with Cas. Charlie was busy in the kitchen making them something to eat in hopes that they could get something into Dean. He hadn’t eaten since they’d gotten back to the bunker the day before and she was worried about him too. It took a bit of the burden off Sam to know that he wasn’t the only one worried. Dean came in as dusk was falling heading first to the bathroom to wash his hands and then to his room. Sam found him an hour later sitting up at the edge of the bed, hands folded in his lap as if in prayer. His head was bowed and his eyes were closed. Sam knocked on the doorframe as he stepped into the room but Dean did not look up. “Dean man, Charlie made dinner. You have to come and eat something.” He said. Dean did not respond. “Cas wouldn’t want you to do this. He’d want you to keep going on, for him.” He said softly. Dean flinched at the sound of Cas’ name but he didn’t open his eyes or look up. Seeing his brother like this, so defeated, unwilling to fight, it scared Sam. He moved over to the bed and sat down next to Dean, not saying anything. He folded his hands in his lap and bowed his head, offering up a prayer to the God he hoped still existed, one of hope for his brother. 

It was a long while before Dean finally lifted his head and when he opened his eyes Sam could see they were still red rimmed from crying. Even in prayer he’d been unable to stop the tears from flowing. He looked worn out, exhausted, both physically and mentally, but as Sam looked at his brother he realized that Dean was also exhausted spiritually as well. He looked up at his brother wanting to say something, anything, but not able to find the words. “I know man, I know how much you loved him, and I know how much he loved you.” He hugged his brother, letting Dean cling to him and cry, knowing his brother needed that anchor right then, something to tether him to this world. When the tears finally subsided Dean sat back and wiped at his eyes. “I’m going to lay down.” He said and stood up. He went around to the side of the bed. “Don’t you want something to eat?” Sam asked as he got up. “Not hungry.” Dean grunted as he kicked off his boots and slid under the covers. He turned on his side putting his back to Sam. Sam left him, closing the door quietly behind him and leaving Dean alone as he wanted. Charlie met him in the hall, the worry on his face reflecting in hers. “He’s not ok, you know that, right?” She asked. “Dean always makes it through. He’ll get through this.” Even as the words left his mouth he knew they were a lie and he felt shame for having uttered them at all. “Not from this he won’t.” She said. “Dean’s lost other people before, people we both loved. He has to make it through this too.” Sam spoke the words more to himself than to Charlie, trying to convince himself that his brother would be ok. “There’s a difference Sam. Dean has a good heart. When he loves someone, he loves them completely, but aside from you, there’s no one that has loved him back with that same passion. Dean has lost the other half of his soul.” She explained, and Sam knew she was right. A sliver of fear shot through him at the thought of losing his brother yet again, only this time forever. “I don’t know what to do.” He admitted. “I can’t fix this.” Charlie reached out, squeezing his hand. “What he needs right now is for you to not give up on him.” She left him standing there in the hallway, unsure what to do next.

Night fell over the bunker and Sam found himself going to check on his brother more than a dozen times. He didn’t know what he expected Dean to do, put a gun in his mouth? Take pills? But lying there, letting himself waste away was not one of the options he thought his brother might take, but by morning Dean still had not risen from bed and Sam was getting more and more worried. He found himself turning to prayer once again. “Please, don’t let me lose my brother. God, if you can hear me, save Dean from this pain. Bring Cas back…” The prayer having been uttered he made his way to the kitchen to put together a sandwich in hopes that his brother would eat it, though he didn’t hold out much hope of that happening. He poured a glass of orange juice and set the juice and sandwich on a tray to bring to Dean’s room. He was just picking up the tray when he heard a knock at the door to the bunker. Very few people knew where the bunker even was, and there were few living people that knew it existed at all, so to hear a knock alarmed Sam. Charlie appeared in the doorway to the kitchen. “Who knows about this place?” She asked. “Aside from you? Jody, and Crowley. And maybe one or two other people.” He replied, setting the tray back down and leaving to go see who was at the door. Charlie followed him, waiting nervously at the foot of the steps to see who was there. “Holy shit…” Sam said as he opened the door to find himself standing face to face with Chuck, the supposedly dead prophet. “Chuck?” He poked at the man to make sure he was really standing there. Chuck smiled. “Hi Sam, it’s good to see you.” Sam’s eyes narrowed. “You’re dead Chuck.” He reached into his back pocket to pull out the silver plated switch blade he always kept there and Chuck must have anticipated it because he offered a hand out for Sam to test him. “I’m not a monster Sam.” He said as Sam opened the blade and pressed it against Chuck’s hand. Sam slipped the knife into his pocket and pulled out the holy water in the little vial he also toted around with him. He sprinkled a bit in Chuck’s face relaxing when the water hit the man without causing smoke to rise from his flesh. “Are you quite finished?” Chuck asked, wiping the water from his eyes. “Yeah man, come on in.” He stepped aside and Chuck walked in. “So this is the bunker. Bigger than it looks from outside.” He remarked as he started down the stairs. “Hello Charlie.” He said, smiling at the redhead who was looking from him to Sam in confusion. “How does he know my name?” Sam shrugged. There was no possible reason why Chuck would know her name, he had died long before they ever met her. “I’m sorry about Becky. I know she has issues.” Chuck said to Sam as he joined the prophet on the main floor. “Yeah, that’s an understatement.” Sam muttered. “Who’s Becky?” Charlie asked. “Don’t ask.” Sam and Chuck said in unison, which caused them both to smile. “So how is it you’re here Chuck? You’re supposed to be dead. You died so that Kevin could become the next prophet.” Sam stood with his arms crossed, waiting for an answer. “Yeah, about that. See, I wasn’t really a prophet after all.” Chuck said. He actually looked moderately embarrassed. “What? But you knew everything that happened in our lives, you wrote the books…” Sam left off, feeling his own confusion growing. “Wait, this is the Chuck? The writer of the Supernatural books?” Charlie asked, her voice filled with a mixture of awe and excitement. “The one and only." Chuck said with a small laugh. He turned his attention back to Sam. “I got confused. I lost my way for a while, but when my human form died I finally remembered. I remembered who I really am Sam. And that’s why I’m here.” “So who are you then Chuck?” Sam asked, even more confused. “I heard your prayers. I came to answer them.” Chuck replied. It took Sam a moment to process what the other man was saying. “Wait, you became an angel? Or were you always an angel? Was it like what happened with Anna?” He asked. Chuck waved him off. “No Sam, I’m not an angel. I made the angels. I’m God.” Sam knew he looked stupid standing there with his jaw dropped but he couldn’t help it. “You. You’re…God?” He finally asked, wanting to be absolutely sure he’d heard Chuck right. “Yes.” Chuck was grinning. “But you’re…Chuck.” Sam said, doubtful. Was Chuck trying to pull a fast one on him? It didn’t seem like him to do something so mean. Chuck sighed and rolled his eyes. “Really Sam, you of the stronger faith should know I’m telling the truth.” Sam closed his mouth and looked at Charlie who was staring at Chuck with nothing short of awe. “So, if you heard my prayers, what did I say?” Sam asked. “You asked for Castiel to be returned. You fear for your brother’s well-being, and with good reason. Dean wants to die.” Chuck replied. Sam felt another bolt of fear shoot through him. Chuck put a hand on Sam’s arm. “It’s alright, he’s not going to die. At least, not yet. I have so much more for him to do, and for you as well.” He patted Sam’s arm and crossed the room, turning into the hallway and heading for Dean’s bedroom. He needed no guidance to find Dean’s room and he stopped just outside of it. Sam and Charlie followed, waiting and watching. Chuck gave them a smile before opening the door to Dean’s room and walking in.

 

When the door opened Dean assumed it was just his brother again, or maybe even Charlie, intent on trying to get him up and moving, but he didn’t want to. He wanted to be alone, to just lay here and think of Cas. The footsteps approached the bed and a moment later he felt the weight of a person sitting on the edge. “Hello Dean.” A familiar voice said. Dean turned, pushing the blanket he’d had over his head back to look at the man sitting on his bed. “I must be hallucinating. You’re dead.” He said. “I just had this conversation with Sam. Yes, my mortal form died, but I’m not dead. I can’t die Dean, I’m God.” Chuck replied. Dean just stared at him. “You with me Dean?” He asked, waiving a hand in front of Dean’s face. Dean looked around. “This can’t be heaven. Am I dead?” He asked, unsure. He looked past Chuck to see Sam and Charlie standing in the doorway. There was hope on his brother’s face and it confused his food deprived brain further. “Yeah, I’m hallucinating.” He sighed and laid back against the pillow, pulling the blanket up over his face. “What exactly are you going to do Chuck, er, God?” Sam asked, feeling weird calling the tiny bearded man ‘God’. “Chuck is fine. I rather like the name. I said I was here to answer your prayers, and I am.” Chuck replied. Dean threw the blanket back again and looked at Chuck. “What the hell are you talking about?” He demanded. “Well, for starters, we need to fix a few things.” Chuck said. He leaned forward, pressing two fingers to Dean’s forehead. Dean gasped as he felt a flash of white hot electricity shoot through him. “What was that?!” He asked when Chuck sat back, folding his hands in his lap. “Well, for starters, I took away the mark. There is no need for it anymore, and you are too good for that Dean. And second, I fed your body as you were slowly starving yourself. Castiel will need you strong and healthy. You can’t be willing yourself to die.” Chuck explained. Again Dean flinched at the sound of Cas’ name. “Is this some kind of sick joke?” He asked, but he was pulling his sleeve up, looking for the mark and finding it gone. He also realized the need, the desire to kill that came with it was suddenly gone as well. He was also more alert than he had been in days. “This is for real? You’re really God? How is that possible?” Dean asked. “I came to earth a long, long time ago. See, I loved the humans I had created so much that I wished to live among them, be one of them, feel what they felt. I didn’t’ mean to stay as long as I did, but I ended up liking it so much I found it difficult to leave. And then I started to forget. I forgot who I was, I forgot what heaven was like, and I forgot that I was leaving heaven without its ruler. Time went on and I just settled into being human. And then you two came into my life. It came in flashes at first, and I thought I was prophesizing, but the truth was, I wrote your stories long ago and I was just remembering them. It wasn’t until I died on this plane of existence that I remembered who I am. It’s time I start answering prayers again and bring peace to both heaven and earth.” Chuck explained. “What do you mean answering prayers?” Dean asked, daring to feel a glimmer of hope. Chuck smiled. “I have this thing where I like to create two parts of the same whole, and then cast them out into the universe, just to see if they find their way back to one another. You were like a beacon in the dark to Castiel, and he loved you before he ever knew you. It was meant to be like that. If I’d been in heaven like I was supposed that whole thing with Metatron would never have occurred, and Castiel would have never lost his grace, however, he needed to lose it in order to understand that what he was feeling was indeed love, and for a human no less. See, Castiel was always the one angel I could count on to love humans almost as much as I did, and he has done everything I asked of him, and then some. He has made some mistakes along the way, but the one thing that has never waivered is his love for humans, most specifically, his love for you Dean. He was supposed to return to heaven, to rejoin the angels there as they tried to rebuild and start over, but he couldn’t leave you. He wouldn’t leave you. Even if you had rejected him, he would never have left. That’s how strong the bond between you two is. For everything you have done Dean, you do not deserve to suffer any longer. You are a good man. Flawed, but then again, I made you that way.” Chuck gave him a lopsided grin. Dean sat up completely, feeling his heart swelling in his chest, that glimmer of hope bursting into a full blown explosion. Chuck stood up and waved his hand. Movement to his left caught Dean’s attention and he turned to find Cas standing there, a look of surprise on his face. “What? How am I here?” Dean was already scrambling to get out of the bed and nearly kicked Chuck right off the edge In the process. When he saw Dean coming at him Cas opened his arms, catching the bigger man as he threw himself against him. “Dean!” He chuffed, but there was joy in his voice. “Castiel, I want to thank you for everything you did for my most prized possessions. You were a remarkable angel, and I am rewarding you with something you want most.” Chuck came around the side of the bed and as Dean stood back he pressed two fingers to Cas’ forehead. There was a flash of light and then everything was normal again. “Did you give him back his grace?” Dean asked. “I did one better, I gave him a soul.” Chuck replied. “So, I’m…human?” Cas asked, his eyes filling with hope and thoughts of what that implied. Chuck nodded. “You are. There is nothing stopping you from being with Dean now. I want you two to be happy, grow old together, love one another. You two have restored my faith in humanity.” He nodded toward Dean and then Sam. “If you should need me again, just pray. Keep up the good work you guys are doing. Oh, and here.” Chuck turned to face Sam and he saw that the missing urn was in his hands. “How did you…Never mind. You’re God.” Sam said with a laugh as he accepted the urn being held out to him. “Put this away and do not let it fall into the wrong hands again. I will punish the ones that caused this, don’t you worry about that.” Chuck said as he handed it over. Sam nodded, taking the urn and hugging it close. He turned back to look at Dean and Cas who were clinging to one another, tears of joy spilling down both of their faces. He started for the door. “I’ll see myself out.” He stopped in front of Charlie. “You made the right decision trusting in these two. You might want to call home though, someone important is waiting for you to call her..” He gave her a wink and with that he was gone. Charlie’s eyes widened. “Oh my God! My mom!” She hurried off leaving Sam standing there watching his brother with Cas. “This is not how I thought this was going to end.” He admitted. “Me either. Who’d have thought? Chuck is God?” Dean said with awe in his voice. “I didn’t know either.” Cas admitted. When Dean leaned in to kiss Cas, Sam took that as his cue to leave. “I’m uh, going to go put this in storage and catalog it. Good to have you back Cas.” Sam said with a grin. “It’s good to be back.” Cas said, tearing his mouth away from Dean’s long enough to respond. “You have no idea how good it is to be back.”


	11. Epilogue: Love, Hope, and Faith

“So where were you? After you died?” Dean asked. He had patiently waited for Cas to take a shower and change into one of his shirts and a pair of his boxers since Cas had no real clothes of his own besides his suit and trench coat. He was debating on asking Cas to lay down with him. He wasn’t sure where lying together in bed would lead, and he was still trying to work up his nerve for anything more than kissing. Cas had come out of the bathroom clean and freshly shaven, his hair still wet and sticking up as it had even when he was an angel and Dean was surprised to find how that one little thing was so comforting to him. “I think I was in heaven, but I’m not really sure. It was bright and warm, but I wasn’t any place familiar really.” Cas replied as he ran a hand through his hair and shook his head to get rid of some of the water. “That shower felt really good.” He said, grinning. “Yeah, you’ll get to take plenty of them now.” Dean assured him. “So I started looking around and I found a door. I don’t remember there even being a wall, but there was a door. When I opened it Chuck was there waiting. He told me who he really was and what had happened, and he asked me what I really wanted. He said it mattered to him where I really wanted to be. I told him I wanted to be here, with you.” Cas explained. Hearing him say that made Dean’s chest ache, as though his very heart were swelling. Cas’ words were simple, but they meant everything to him. “Yeah, I was praying to God, or to anyone really, to not let you just stop existing. I prayed that you would live on in heaven so that I could see you again one day. I didn’t want to keep living here if it meant I’d never get to see you again. I never thought I’d get you back though. I mean, you’d already been brought back before, I didn’t think I’d be lucky enough to get you back again.” His words came out softer than he’d anticipated, and they pulled at Cas’ heart just hearing them. He put a hand under Dean’s chin and lifted his head, making him look at him. “You prayed?” He was honestly surprised, but he realized what it meant for Dean to actually pray to someone other than him. “Thank you Dean.” He said. Dean swallowed hard and nodded. They stood there for a moment in awkward silence before Cas moved toward the door. “Where should I sleep? I am finding that I am tired. It’s been a long day.” The look on his face told Dean he didn’t want to leave, he wanted to stay right there with him. “Uh, well, if you want you can have the room across the hall, but, I dunno, if you want…” He motioned toward his own bed, feeling the heat growing even more in his face. It bothered him that his own body was betraying him by making him blush. Cas broke out in a smile that did something to Dean, and he felt a pull in his groin that pleasantly surprised him. “I would like very much to stay in here with you, if you really want me to.” Dean looked up and saw those blue eyes looking at him and that smile on his lips. He smiled back. “Yeah, I’d like that.” Dean held out a hand and Cas pushed it aside, opting instead to pull Dean to him, kissing him so deep that it took Dean’s breath away. His hands on Dean’s hips Cas pulled him closer, pressing their bodies together as he pressed his mouth harder to Dean’s, his tongue searching and finding the other man’s, feeling the hunger there that matched his own. “What was that for?” Dean asked when Cas stood back. “I’m sorry.” Cas replied, and this time it was him who was blushing. “For what?” Dean asked. “I tried to heal myself, I really did, but I could feel the grace slipping away, dying out inside me, and I tried to hang on to the last of it but I couldn’t do it. So even though I knew I was breaking my promise to you, I did what I needed to do to protect you. I stripped the warlock of the magic that he’d used to create the binding spell. I’m just so sorry that I didn’t keep my promise.” Cas’ voice was so low it was barely above a whisper and his beautiful blue eyes were filling up with tears. “Hey, hey, don’t cry. I don’t blame you.” Dean said softly as he pulled Cas close and wrapped his arms around him. Slowly Cas brought his arms up to pull Dean even tighter to him. He rested his head against Dean’s chest, listening to the steady beat of his heart. “What happened? Afterwards I mean.” Cas asked. Dean knew what he meant. “Well, you did us a big favor. The spell was broken and the Goddess, Tis- whatever her name was, she tore Don’s heart right out of his chest.” Dean told him. Cas pulled back and looked up at him. “And then what?” Dean took a deep breath. “And then she asked Sam to kill her.” He replied. It was clear from the look on Cas’ face that his answer was not what he’d anticipated. “And, so he did?” Dean nodded. “I can understand that. She didn’t want to be without her sisters, without the people she loved most in the world.” Cas said. He sat down on the edge of the bed lost in thought for the moment. Dean sat down next to him and slid his hand into Cas’. Cas smiled up at him. “Hey, I’m not letting you go again. I’ll be here for as long as you’ll have me.” Dean said softly. Cas looked up at him and he realized that just as the last time Cas had been human, there was genuine emotion there, and he could see it. Cas was happy, and his love for Dean reflected in those twin pools of azure and Dean felt the heated pull that had started in his groin begin to swell and burn through him. He pulled Cas to him, kissing him slowly, teasing his tongue across Cas’ lower lip and eliciting a moan from him. “Dean, I may not be an angel anymore, but I can still sense how nervous you are. We don’t have to…” Dean cut him off with a kiss so mind blowing that this time it was Cas that was left gasping. “I was being stupid. I know what I want now, and that’s you. No one else, just you.” Dean’s already husky voice was even deeper, full of lust and need. Cas felt his own body responding, shuddering with every kiss Dean placed against his lips, his neck, his collarbone, and then Dean’s hand was up under his shirt, tugging at it to pull it off. Cas obliged and pulled it over his head, letting it slip to the floor. He tugged at Dean’s shirt, managing to get it off and tossed it aside as well. Dean’s body was beautiful, muscular and strong, and Cas greedily grabbed Dean’s waist, pulling him against his own body as they fell back onto the bed. Watching Dean closely for any sign that he might regret what they were doing or decide he was too scared to proceed, Cas slid one hand slowly up Dean’s thigh and under the tight hem of Dean’s boxer briefs. He saw nothing to indicate that Dean didn’t want this as much as he did, so he brought his hand to Dean’s hip and gently tugged at the underwear until they slid down. Dean obliged by kicking them off. Cas’ mouth found his again, their kisses slow but deep as Cas slid his hand from Dean’s hip to his belly and then to his swollen cock. “Oh…” Dean gasped as Cas stroked him, the world washing away until there was nothing left but him and Cas, the only man he would ever love. Cas was tender, loving in his touch and Dean found himself standing on the edge of a precipice like none he had ever seen before, his body responding eagerly to the caresses and strokes that Cas lavished upon him. “You have no idea how long I’ve waited to hold you, to touch you like this.” Cas whispered in his ear before pressing his mouth to Dean’s neck, both biting and sucking gently, sending Dean head first over that precipice and toward the orgasm he was building up to. Cas’ hand around his cock grew more sure, the strokes coming faster, matching the thrusting of Dean’s hips. Cas’ mouth was all over his body and Dean felt ready to explode from the overwhelming pleasure he was experiencing. No hand job in the world had ever felt so good before. Suddenly Cas’ hand was gone, moments before Dean could lose himself in the most exquisite orgasm he had ever experienced. “Cas?” He looked up into his lover’s eyes, seeing the same lust reflected in those dark blue orbs. Cas kissed him once more before his hand reappeared on Dean’s thigh, tracing slow circles that Dean’s cock throbbed in response to. “Cas, don’t tease me like this.” He begged. Cas smiled but there was worry in his eyes. “My intention is not to tease you Dean. But, I want…” He let his words trail off, unsure how to say them without embarrassing himself completely. Oh, so he could feel embarrassment! That caused a blush to rise up in his cheeks that made Dean smile. Dean’s reached over, sliding one finger inside the waistband of the boxers Cas was wearing and tugging them off. “I know what you want Cas, and I want it too. I’m ready, I promise.” Dean assured him as he pulled Cas’ boxers completely off and tossed them aside. He leaned back to marvel at the absolute perfection that was Cas. “God you’re beautiful.” He whispered as he brought his mouth to Cas’ throat and his right hand up between Cas’ legs to stroke him. “Oh God!” Cas gasped, never having experienced that kind of pleasure before. “The part I can’t work out is, who’s on top?” Dean asked with a smile. Cas pushed him back, pinning him to the bed as he straddled him. “I can answer that for you.” Cas’ tone was decidedly un-angelical, as was the lascivious look in his eyes. Dean laughed. He was always in control in the bedroom, but for Cas he was willing to let the other man be in contrl. A small shudder of fear went through him as Cas wet one finger and slowly slid it inside him, but the pleasure that followed after cast away any doubt he’d previously had. With one hand Cas worked to loosen him, moving from one finger to two, and then to three while his other hand slowly stroked Dean. Dean had the sheet balled in his fists trying not to cry out. His only thought being ‘Where the hell did Cas learn to do this?!’ “Can I? Are you sure?” Cas asked, waiting for Dean to be ok with him moving forward. “God yes!” Dean cried out and Cas smiled. He moved forward, pressing against Dean, waiting for the moment of tension Dean suddenly felt to pass, and when it did he slid in and Dean felt as though his entire body was going to explode. He had never felt anything so intense and from the look on Cas’ face, neither had he. At first it was awkward as they tried to find their rhythm, but find it they did, and Dean wrapped his legs around Cas, forcing him in deeper, driving them both back over that edge and into a mutually mind blowing orgasm. They stayed like that for several minutes, riding the wave down from it. Gasping for air Cas sat back, pulling out, looking down at his chest which was covered in the results of Dean’s orgasm. He looked up with a grin. “I’ve never experiencing anything like that before.” Dean said when Cas laid down next to him. He hooked one leg over Cas’ back forcing him to move closer. They lay facing one another, staring into each other’s eyes. “Neither have I. That was…amazing.” Cas said, grinning. “That’s an understatement.” Dean said as he leaned forward, pressing his mouth to Cas’. “I want to do it again.” Cas whispered. This time Dean smiled. “Yeah, me too, except this time I would like to repay the favor.” That elicited another blush from Cas and an even bigger smile. “I don’t think I’ve ever seen you blush like this before. I like it.” Dean teased as he brought a hand up to gently caress Cas’ cheek. “What are we going to do now Dean?” Cas asked. “What do you mean?” Dean asked as he slid closer, nuzzling against Cas’ neck. “I mean from now on. I think Father is going to take care of all of the rogue angels and probably most of the monsters and demons too. There won’t be much hunting left to do. So what do we do if we don’t hunt?” Cas asked. Dean leaned back so he could look him in the eye. Cas felt himself getting lost in those green eyes. “We’re going to live Cas. We’re going to go on with our lives and we’re going to be happy. We deserve it.” Dean pulled Cas to him again, letting him melt against him. In Dean’s arms he felt safer than he had ever felt before, and the idea of being human was less scary. He could do anything as long as Dean loved him. Anything at all.


End file.
